I’ve been a Computer Science student for over a month now…

…and I love it. The classmates are wonderful, the classes are fun and inspiring and the teachers are engaged and awesome. Or something…

I am not gonna say that it’s been easy. It’s a real roller coaster. One lecture could be really great and I understand basically everything. Then another one could be so hard that my brain stops working and I sit there wondering wtf just happened. Luckily, both the teachers and classmates are there to help and that’s great. I’m basically friends with all of them, and that’s totally awesome!

The first weeks were pretty easy with basically no homework or very little to do. Even though it’s was a bit of a slow start I was so tired that I didn’t what to do with myself. Also I have no idea on how I’m supposed to study. I still really don’t know this. I know the basics of course. Go to all the possible classes, do all the homework and/or assignments, read the books and pass the tests. However the only thing that I’m unsure of is how to read the books. Also after going to a bunch of classes it seems a bit redundant to read the books, because the teacher explains everything in detail anyway. And I rarely learn anything from reading books…

I’m so not into reading books. Not even factual based books. When I studied last time at college, I read maybe 5-10% of the books but I made it anyway. That’s because we did not have a classic examination. All we did was write essays and reports. I would not have made it otherwise…

So far, we’ve been learning about algorithms, pseudo code, flow charts and basic programming. In the programming course, we’ve gone through, variables, classes, methods, parameters, arguments, loops, bot while and for loops and many other things I forgot to mention. We’re focusing on Java, if I didn’t mention it before and we’re using IntelliJ for development. Learning programming for real has been a lot of fun, but frustrating and I’ve come to the conclusion that the easiest solution is most often the right and best one. Personally, with my mental blockages constantly being in the way and my aching body hating to commute, it feels like this whole thing is gonna figure itself out by itself. Once I start to remember what everything is and how it’s and should be used, it is gonna become a lot easier. I learn a lot from my classmates, by going to class and I think I’ve learned the most from making mistakes.

The funny thing is that this is probably the first time in my adult life that I realize how different I truly am in regards to other people. I’m different in both good and bad ways. The bad way is kinda obvious. It’s the fibromyalgia that is making everything tougher then it is for most people. Personality wise I’m thrilled that I’m myself and that it’s ok to be who I am, a nerdy “girl” who likes to be around boys or something. Not to be around boys in the traditional sense, more like being around the guys in a friendly way. Who cares? I love the fact that I’m not surrounded by annoying women talking crap about men. The other three ladies in class seems to be as interested in programming as I am, and that’s also great! One of them seems to be a mastermind in math as well. I’d probably talk to her a lot when I have problems with that.

My fibromyalgia is making school hard in the ways that my body is aching constantly. My back and shoulders are more tense than ever. My neck hurts from watching the teacher, no matter where I sit in the classroom. In this school it seems that we’re not using classic college classrooms, like old movie theaters or something, but regular classrooms like in high schools. That hurts my neck a lot. I’m tired all day, especially before and after class on the train ride to or from school, and I’ve been like a zombie at home, trying to do my best to study anyways. During the weekends I’ve actually done a lot, but it seems like all the notes and reading I’ve done won’t help me until I can discuss all of it with classmates and the teachers. I’ve actually done most of my studying during the weekends, because I got nothing better to with my time.

One huge aspect of fibromyalgia is so called “Brain fog”. I haven’t really experienced that for a very long time now before college started. It been months, but now when I’m learning a lot of new stuff, it’s so hard trying to find the words that I feel like an idiot most of the time during class. I bet my classmates notice it too, but I’m honest and say that it’s brain fog, or due to my stupid illnesses that make my life hell 99% of the time. I do sense that it has been easier since I started school, but even then it’s a rollercoaster. I just hope that I can get through this and pass the tests. I’m really nervous about the tests 😬

Just so you know, I’m so sorry that I haven’t blogged until now. I actually started this post just a few days after college started, but it wasn’t until now that I actually had time to post it. I have so much more to tell you, but as long as I am this tired, everything besides eating, studying and sleeping is considered a huge bonus of mine, and blogging right now has to be at the lower end of my list of things to do. I hope you’ve missed me, and that you keep continue to visit this blog even when I’m not blogging. The blog is otherwise completely dead with basically no visitors and nobody seems to use Google either to search for the stuff I’ve written about and that’s been going on for like a year. I find that so weird, but I don’t have time to figure out why that is.

Either way, I’m happy as a college student and I’m looking forward to getting a degree in Computer Science!

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