I’ve been a Computer Science student for over a month now…

…and I love it. The classmates are wonderful, the classes are fun and inspiring and the teachers are engaged and awesome. Or something…

I am not gonna say that it’s been easy. It’s a real roller coaster. One lecture could be really great and I understand basically everything. Then another one could be so hard that my brain stops working and I sit there wondering wtf just happened. Luckily, both the teachers and classmates are there to help and that’s great. I’m basically friends with all of them, and that’s totally awesome!

The first weeks were pretty easy with basically no homework or very little to do. Even though it’s was a bit of a slow start I was so tired that I didn’t what to do with myself. Also I have no idea on how I’m supposed to study. I still really don’t know this. I know the basics of course. Go to all the possible classes, do all the homework and/or assignments, read the books and pass the tests. However the only thing that I’m unsure of is how to read the books. Also after going to a bunch of classes it seems a bit redundant to read the books, because the teacher explains everything in detail anyway. And I rarely learn anything from reading books…

I’m so not into reading books. Not even factual based books. When I studied last time at college, I read maybe 5-10% of the books but I made it anyway. That’s because we did not have a classic examination. All we did was write essays and reports. I would not have made it otherwise…

So far, we’ve been learning about algorithms, pseudo code, flow charts and basic programming. In the programming course, we’ve gone through, variables, classes, methods, parameters, arguments, loops, bot while and for loops and many other things I forgot to mention. We’re focusing on Java, if I didn’t mention it before and we’re using IntelliJ for development. Learning programming for real has been a lot of fun, but frustrating and I’ve come to the conclusion that the easiest solution is most often the right and best one. Personally, with my mental blockages constantly being in the way and my aching body hating to commute, it feels like this whole thing is gonna figure itself out by itself. Once I start to remember what everything is and how it’s and should be used, it is gonna become a lot easier. I learn a lot from my classmates, by going to class and I think I’ve learned the most from making mistakes.

The funny thing is that this is probably the first time in my adult life that I realize how different I truly am in regards to other people. I’m different in both good and bad ways. The bad way is kinda obvious. It’s the fibromyalgia that is making everything tougher then it is for most people. Personality wise I’m thrilled that I’m myself and that it’s ok to be who I am, a nerdy “girl” who likes to be around boys or something. Not to be around boys in the traditional sense, more like being around the guys in a friendly way. Who cares? I love the fact that I’m not surrounded by annoying women talking crap about men. The other three ladies in class seems to be as interested in programming as I am, and that’s also great! One of them seems to be a mastermind in math as well. I’d probably talk to her a lot when I have problems with that.

My fibromyalgia is making school hard in the ways that my body is aching constantly. My back and shoulders are more tense than ever. My neck hurts from watching the teacher, no matter where I sit in the classroom. In this school it seems that we’re not using classic college classrooms, like old movie theaters or something, but regular classrooms like in high schools. That hurts my neck a lot. I’m tired all day, especially before and after class on the train ride to or from school, and I’ve been like a zombie at home, trying to do my best to study anyways. During the weekends I’ve actually done a lot, but it seems like all the notes and reading I’ve done won’t help me until I can discuss all of it with classmates and the teachers. I’ve actually done most of my studying during the weekends, because I got nothing better to with my time.

One huge aspect of fibromyalgia is so called “Brain fog”. I haven’t really experienced that for a very long time now before college started. It been months, but now when I’m learning a lot of new stuff, it’s so hard trying to find the words that I feel like an idiot most of the time during class. I bet my classmates notice it too, but I’m honest and say that it’s brain fog, or due to my stupid illnesses that make my life hell 99% of the time. I do sense that it has been easier since I started school, but even then it’s a rollercoaster. I just hope that I can get through this and pass the tests. I’m really nervous about the tests 😬

Just so you know, I’m so sorry that I haven’t blogged until now. I actually started this post just a few days after college started, but it wasn’t until now that I actually had time to post it. I have so much more to tell you, but as long as I am this tired, everything besides eating, studying and sleeping is considered a huge bonus of mine, and blogging right now has to be at the lower end of my list of things to do. I hope you’ve missed me, and that you keep continue to visit this blog even when I’m not blogging. The blog is otherwise completely dead with basically no visitors and nobody seems to use Google either to search for the stuff I’ve written about and that’s been going on for like a year. I find that so weird, but I don’t have time to figure out why that is.

Either way, I’m happy as a college student and I’m looking forward to getting a degree in Computer Science!

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A new masterpiece is in the works…

But why do I feel like a total idiot when I’m almost finished with it? For those who have no idea on what I’m talking about, I’m referring to the YouTube video I’ve worked on for like a month, perhaps more. It’s probably two months when you think of the first draft of it. Then after I made that one, Jon Prosser of Front Page Tech and Creative Mindset Podcast made me change my mind and do something better. Now I believe I have, and yesterday evening I let my boyfriend watch it. I wanted him to see it in case he was not satisfied with some details, but he had nothing to add. I had almost counted on him hating the video, since it’s about me being a borderline (or maybe totally obsessed) Apple Sheep. And we all know how much he really dislikes Apple as a company and some of their products, even though he uses some of them himself for work.

I was surprised that he had nothing to say about it. Just because I felt guilty or something and was more prepared to change the whole video, we still had a tiny discussion afterwards, because I probably needed it. The thing is – and probably always has been with me and Apple products the past year, is that it was at the beginning an escape route for my mind in despite of everything. When I got my iPhone as a gift for passing math, I finally felt that I could accept my little obsession and move on, but I only sunk in deeper into the Apple World… We have been able to freely discuss and talk about Apple since then (or since I started using the Mac mini as my desktop) and it has been nice. When the Apple obsession took another step, it was with the MacBook Pro that I got as a gift for getting into college and I was so surprised and happy I did not know what to do with myself. I love this computer. Touch ID is great! And the typing etc… Love it!

The problem is that, even though I have felt on and off that the Apple obsession is starting to decline, it has yet again kicked into gear. The main reason for that is still because of my stupid, silly brain and me being bored of my mind since school hasn’t started yet. It’s less then a week to go now and I can’t wait! I feel that I have a confession to make, but no – it’s more like a declaration or a disclaimer. At least for myself. The video I’ve been working on has been a tiny way for me to focus on something else, but time shall tell if my efforts were good enough for some success at least… Some success means like over 100 true views and a comment or two, I guess but I am not counting on anything! The video is not the confession, though. Read on…

My boyfriend told me yesterday that somehow I have to stop with the Apple products, and I am well aware of that. I will not buy any other Apple products if I know I don’t need them. To be clear, I’ve gotten every Apple product I use either as a gift from him or as a “borrowed” item since we already had some of them in our household. Even still, I can’t stop my silly mind of stalking the Apple Store app and check the prices and specs of iPads, AirPods, the Apple Watch etc… But still, I won’t buy any until I know I will need them. I haven’t so far and I will not do it, no matter how much my brain wants to grab the first opportunity to expand the Apple library. It’s more important to save my money and I know that. Having money is more important than having more Apple products!

Apple products, Tailosive Tech and all other YouTube channels talking about Apple are and will probably continue to be an escape route for my brain whenever I’m to tired or bored to do anything else. Still, I am hoping that college will be the event that changes everything.

This is my confession; I really want and will do my absolute best to study until I can’t stand it anymore. I want and need the computer science bachelor degree I’ll be getting to become my new escape route. To become my new obsession. It has to be that way. Why? Because I have been so bored out of my mind for so long now that I am starting to hate, dislike and get disgusted by my current lifestyle.

My current way of life is basically never leaving the apartment, spending 10+ hours a day watching pointless YouTube videos or movies I’ve seen a thousand times already or “bad” tv-shows. Also it involves eating crappy breakfasts and bad lunches and more crap for dinner, so the weight is not going anywhere. Not to mention that my IBS is not getting better either…

I am alone all day, with my cat as a companion and my BF is at work basically all day. I’m not complaining about that, really. I have no problem being alone, really. I just dislike that I have nothing important to do these days. Even the last year of work was not enough and I had to cut down my hours at the beginning of 2018 due to them not having enough stuff for me to do. That sucked, but I did feel that it was soon time for me to leave that place anyway. Since I lost my job, finished math I have been so bored that I hate myself a little bit. To be honest. Yes. I sort of hate myself and my current way of life. Me. The person who loves doing nothing special and sit and watch TV all day. I guess after 35+ years I’ve finally had enough of that…

I must do more with my life. Earn more money (or at least have a reliable higher income forever) so I can at least have a Great Dane to keep me company. I’d be devastated if I would fail college now, if it turns out to be to complicated for me etc. I need to fill that hole in my head! For those who do not know, I have all my life also felt that I have a hole, a physical hole in my brain that is just empty. Why is it empty? Because it is not filled with knowledge. It is like an area that is just lost, or totally unknown. Also my earlier bachelor’s degree I got in pedagogy just seemed like paying $30 000 in student loans to get stuff I already know on paper. I learned most of my “skills” from that by getting to know classmates and having the current BF by my side, teaching me new perspectives on life.

I think that feeling is why I have led such a simple life, because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I’m so happy with so little. All I need is a TV and a computer with good internet access and I’m good, or something… Every time I wanted to fill that hole, some other crap comes in my way.

If it isn’t peer pressure (for not fitting in and being like every other girl out there) it’s stupid math (that I finally passed after the third attempt after like 10+ years of on and off studies) or some other garbage like my fibromyalgia. Or just life in general. Or as usual – my stupid silly brain that thinks everything but Apple or watching tv is too boring so I am unable to focus on anything useful. Like read a book and preferring that. It sounds like it’s all about excuses, but no. It has always been like that and I guess I’ve always in that sense been to “weak” or something to finally do something. To be clear, I’ve loved living my life like this, doing nothing and not having enough money and just sitting there, dreaming my life away instead of just getting up and do something. And books are boring!

It’s not until now that I have actually started to do something about this, because I have had enough of this crap! I don’t think I was born just to sit and watch TV all day and obsess about domains, Apple products or views/readers/subscribers? Do you? What a waste if that truly is my destiny…

This also reminds me… Not to sound evil, just a fact. The BF told me years ago and he has told me several times that I don’t have a true passion for something. I don’t have a passion for making it on YouTube, as a blogger or anything else. Not even learning code or trying to at least. I just prefer doing something else and I expect imminent success by doing barely enough. Or maybe nothing. I just sit there and dream, instead of making it myself from scratch.

When he told me that all those years ago, I was a bit butt hurt, but now? Now I get it. And it’s true. I did not have a true passion for anything. I believed that doing just “enough” will be enough. Then when I’m done, I’ll go watch TV. I’m like an obnoxious child in that sense. I have always been like that. I’m always bored with anything that’s not watching TV or doing as little as possible. The exception might be when I’m around people I like, but otherwise I’m like “are we there yet?!” and I can’t wait until I can watch TV, play on my phone or sit by the computer and obsess about my useless shit.

It’s hilarious when I think about it now. Who could have known that I’d get to this point? And why the fudge did it take so long? If I played my cards right, I could have gone to a different high school program, passed all the classes needed and have a bachelor’s degree in computer science 10 years ago or perhaps even 15 years ago. My life could have been so different, but due to my life being a really weird and lazy one to live, this is what I have to make due with. I’m kicking myself so hard these days for my stupid mistakes I’ve made in the past…

If I don’t know how to solve a certain thing, and I don’t even know what Google is telling me, how am I supposed to go on? I haven’t, but those days are hopefully over – forever. Now it is time for everything, and I do mean everything to change. I’m done copying and pasting…

It’s time for me to stop obsessing about pointless crap and start to focus on stuff that’s useful – in every aspect of my life. It is time to lose the weight and have a more colourful life. Or something like that. It’s finally time to shine. Become somebody better. A person who knows what to do and does not get frustrated or angry at nothing. I guess my frustration and so many other things in my life is due to that “empty hole in head” feeling. And now I’m gonna fill it. With programming. With Java. With new experiences. Shop Talk or whatever. Learn something useful and actually using that to my advantage because then I know what the fudge I’m doing. Everything now, at least technical stuff has been a guessing game, a copy-paste game or just not useful enough that I can do more.

It seems I’m complaining about nothing, but if you knew what it felt to be me, things would be different. The thing is that I probably also haven’t realised that time actually has gone by. It’s not like I feel any older since I left home in 2001. I just have a lot of crappy memories and lots of time being spent doing nothing. Still, I can’t lie and say that it has been crap. The things that have been truly shitty for me has mostly to do with not having enough money or having really shitty boyfriends (stealing all my money), but life with the current BF of 10 years soon has been lovely. Even though I haven’t really had money, not a Great Dane, moved a lot and only had one single real job in my life, these past 10 years have been the best ones yet. Even though they have meant becoming a little bit fat.

It’s like:

Saying to people that I feel and/or is fat is unthinkable apparently so I can’t use those words without stepping on some toes. The word “fat” can only be used by doctors or obese people. Not by people that really have to lose like 40 lbs (or lose like 12″ around the waist) in order to not get diabetes or a heart attack before they turn 40. People like me. Yeah, that would be rude! But all that crap is news for another day.

I have been happy and in many ways I still am, regardless of weight or anything else. I’m just sick and tired of some things that I want to change.

I really hope that it’s time for that change now. I really, fricking do!

So relieved, yet so bored…

I just had an amazing experience during a livestream from one of my current favourites on YouTube, Tailosive Tech. Otherwise known as Drew. With amazing, I might be overstating it a bit, but it was pretty cool. I finally was able to get some bits so I could donate a little and ensure that my comment or question is read and answered by him. It took a while before I could come up with a good one, but then somebody asked about stalkers so I figured I’d let him know a little bit of how I’m feeling in this whole thing.

With Drew and the whole Tailosive/Apple shebang I have felt that I’m his only loyal fan or something, even though I know I’m not the only one. I’m like (whenever I try to get in contact during a livestream or on Twitter):

“hey, it’s me from Sweden. Do you remember me? Do you know who I am? Of course not…”

Or something like that. Not really, though but it sure feels like that’s how I act way too often with him. I feel really stupid sometimes, but my stupid brain and I have started to figure out that as long as I’m respectful to him, everything should be fine. And I do my very best to make sure I don’t do anything stupid… That’s why I’m so happy that I got the answer I needed today so I can move on and focus on better things.

To be clear. I am not a stalker. I am not stalking him. And that makes me feel so relieved. If I’d ever be close to do something like that I don’t know what I would do with myself. He’s such an inspiration, but if I go back and think how the last year has been for me and how much he and his talk about Apple and other things have helped me, I have sometimes felt like a stalker. Or something like that, but I am sure that is not true and never has been.

I am pretty sure, however that he doesn’t believe how much he has helped me the past year. I mean, how could he know? Seeing him speak reminds me of what I can and want to become, especially online. I could be that great at having an opinion, because I am like that in person. Just not in front of a camera, and especially not with a manuscript. I have tried making videos without a script, but then it by default becomes even more boring and I don’t like that. The difference would be if I could have a podcast with invited quests or be a guest myself so I can show my true personality. It’s during those discussions I truly shine – at least as long as I can get my message through without stepping on people’s toes and not getting them upset.

As a blogger, showing my true self is easy, but on video? That’s a real struggle…

I am currently working on a YouTube video that I hope will be released before I start college in a few weeks. It has taken me weeks to do this video, but the reason for that is due to many things. Mainly because what Jon Prosser has started  to say in order to help smaller creators become better on YouTube.

It has made me evaluate everything I have done and what I’m about to do as a hopeful content creator. I don’t know and I certainly don’t expect to succeed, but with Jon’s help, I’m at least starting to improve, but if it will gather views – I am really not sure. I am doing this particular video as a pure experiment.

It’s an experiment in two ways. One – to see if I do better with this one. Two – if preparing every single detail possible, until perfection will make me a better content creator. With perfection I mean, as far as I can go with my manuscripts and an iPhone SE to record it all with. Not to mention my “schizophrenic” personality that always seems to occur these days when I put myself in front of a camera. I am more natural at speaking in person as I am in front of a camera now, and I hate it. I wish I could be as natural there as I am in real life, but more experience will most likely help with that.

Anyway, with the video I am making now, which is basically all about me being a borderline Apple sheep, I have to mention Drew in the video. I asked him today if that was ok, and it was! That made me so relieved and happy. Also inspired, and I could really use some of that now… Hopefully I’ll record the rest of the footage tomorrow and the edit will be finished before the week is over.

Now, to talk about the “being bored” part. In less then two weeks, I’m off to college. I can’t wait! I’ll go deep into Java programming during the school years and I hope that I’ll master every class and don’t find it too hard to learn. It would really make me sad if it turns out that I’m not made out to be a developer. Until college starts, I’m climbing the walls here because I am so bored. I just wanna start learning how to code!

The best part of my day is usually during the mornings, after my BF has gone off to work, because then I usually have at least an hour of awesome YouTube videos to watch. Those normally include Drew and Jon, but also many other Tech YouTubers who talk Apple products and other interesting stuff. When those videos are done being watched, I basically roll my thumbs all day long, surfing the web, trying to find more Youtube videos to watch, and I mostly succeed, but lately even that’s a struggle. I consider it a miracle that I can manage to spend my days and that the hours actually go by.

Today I was also thrilled that Drew went online with his daily Tech stream two hours or so earlier than usual. When the BF’s home it’s a bit easier as well for a while. As long as we eat dinner and watch a movie or a good show – everything is fine, then when that’s over it all starts again and I am bored out of my mind trying to find whatever I can do to. I really want school to start so I can focus on programming at least! I have to do something more or I’ll go nuts soon! If I haven’t already that is…

Only time will tell…

My mind is blown yet again…

The other day I wrote about me getting into college again and the changes that I hope will come with all of that. I also wrote that I could not afford getting a MacBook for school and that Windows is no longer that great. Well… It seems my worries are over.

The other day, an hour or so before my boyfriend was about to come home, he wrote to me saying he’ll most likely be late. That was fine with me, since the trains usually have troubles with just about everything these days. To my surprise, he actually came home a lot sooner than I thought. I sat by my computer, playing around with lots of stuff and before he came in through the door he told me to close my eyes and keep them close. I was so excited and I hoped it was a MacBook that was the surprise. I was right. My mind is blown away yet again. Talk about having an awesome boyfriend!

The thing is, that he ordered the MacBook when I got accepted into college. It’s the 2018 MacBook Pro 13″. It does come with some strings attached. It will be mainly my computer, but he will also have an account. We also installed windows 10 on it, because why not? Also, I’ll probably not receive any gifts for a really long time and that’s fine with me. This year has been full of surprises and I’m expecting to get a better financial situation the upcoming years than I’d originally plan so that means I can probably save more and spend more if I want to. I guess the only greedy question in my Apple journey so far is if I’ll buy an iPad with an Apple pencil or if I can manage without it. I’d like to go paperless for school for many reasons, but our iPad mini 2 works fine as is, even though I’d really like to have at least touch-ID for it. I guess we’ll see what happens when school starts. I probably won’t be needing a new iPad until I have a math class, which is not until march 2019 or something.

Also, I must add that I’m a huge fan of the trackpad. It took a few hours to get used to, but now it’s like I want it on my desktop as well. My mouse for my desktop is a logitech mouse with a trackball. It’s called the Trackman Marble and I love using it. Now, however since using the trackpad, I don’t really what to feel. It has so many advantages, but so does the original Trackman. It’s overall the absolute best touchpad I’ve used! The typing experience is also really nice. I thought I’d get pain in my fingers from writing on it, but no. Everything is fine. I do miss a numerical, though but I guess you can’t have it all. Not even the 15″ has a numerical…

Well, it seems my Apple collection is just growing bigger all the time and I love it. I’m curious to see what product will be next and how well the computer will work for school.

Do you have a MacBook Pro 13″? Let me know how much you like it by leaving a comment below. Thanks!

 

 

It’s time for some new beginnings…

And it starts with me going back to college! Yep. I got in, but I guess that most of you didn’t even know that I was planning on going back to school either, but it’s true. It’s only been like 5 years or so since I came out of college. I should’ve finished college in 2012, but it took me an additional two years to finish my last essay. That was not my fault, but at last I managed to finish it.

That college education made me a social scientist, specializing in people with disabilities and the job market. I however did not get a job in that field, per say… It’s kind of funny. My first real job actually involved working with a project specializing in just what I’ve gone to college for, but it did not make me work with people in the sense I had planned for myself. And that’s fine! My own disabilities are at “fault” for that. I basically thought of myself as a typical worker at a job agency, but the first job I got was a whole other thing. These days I’m however very grateful for my experience.

It’s just sad that I did not realize I wouldn’t have a permanent future as a social scientist. Technically I could get a job working for the authorities, but I’ve applied countless times and never gotten a response so I have stopped trying. Also, with my current health situation I will never be able to work more than 50% and I can only perform relatively simple tasks, so why bother?

The solution probably lies within the IT business. With who I am as a person and what I’ve always loved doing, I should most likely be a developer if some sorts. I love problem solving and with my years as a blogger, using mainly WordPress as my platform I have developed a huge curiosity for code and development. Unfortunately, due to my Fibromyalgia and restless personality I haven’t been able really to do something about this venture that I’m finally gonna start.

I got accepted into college and if I finish I’ll become a system developer, specializing in Java development. I’ll also get a bachelors degree in computer science.

With this new and awaited start in my life, it is also the perfect time for some other changes. For starters, I am planning to kick start my diet into a WFPB diet that is as vegan, fiber rich and nutritious as possible. With my current health status – I probably have no other choice than eating healthier because I have no idea how I’ll get the strength to study if I do not take care of my health as well.

When school starts I’d be hoping I’d use a MacBook for my studies, but I can’t afford one. Until I can or some other miracle happens I’ll have to make due with our old laptop pc instead. As of writing this, I started writing this post on the laptop but it was so slow and laggy that my domestic partner had to reinstall windows on it and it still keeps bugging out on us. Something is deeply wrong with that laptop and we don’t know why. It is a similar problem that occurred with my desktop pc, but my BF has never had this issue with either the laptop or his own desktop so that makes it all a bit more weird. He finally managed to reinstall Windows on it, but I do not like Windows any longer.

After I’ve used a Mac mini since like April or May of 2018, going back to windows just feels so wrong. I miss the seamless experience that occurs between apple products but hopefully everything will be fine when school starts in a few weeks. Windows is cluttered, messy and it is clearly spying software or something.

I got office 365 with being a student again and I’ve installed it on the Mac mini. On windows, I got a suspicious question if I wanted to let my school change stuff in my computer?! Fortunately I could say hell no to that, but still? WTF?! That’s not cool on a personal computer. Fine if it was owned by the school but we bought it 3 or 4 years ago. This occured before the reinstall of Windows. I’m not sure how much I’ll be needing office 365, so I’ll wait and see until I’ll install it again on the laptop.

Also, on our laptop, it’s been a huge hassle with typing, getting languages to work properly and I miss Safari as my web browser. I’ve installed Firefox on the laptop now, but I miss Safari anyways. It’s not a perfect browser, but this laptop fucking sucks! Or maybe it’s just Windows that i dislike?! I’m writing on it again and I keep touching the touch bar, which makes the cursor move and it gets my words all messed up. I am gonna hate this! Not that I’ve tried using a Macbook ever, but it might be a whole lot better in many ways. With MacOS I at least know where to find everything…

I’m also doing my best to try a new thing, and that new thing has to do with iOS. I’ve been having trouble with Google Photos not uploading photos in the background. According to several sources it is due to iOS being “locked in” and not allowing this, but according to others, it’s been considered a bug. I don’t know what to say, because sometimes it does uploads everything without me having to have the app open in the background and sometimes it does not upload a single thing for weeks – until I manually open the app. I don’t know what to think, but after some googling I’ve decided to do some other thing that many recommends. That thing is to leave apps open in the background and not close them after use.

It’s a bit difficult of a habit to learn, since I’ve done this like always on Android and ever since I got my iPhone SE, but I’m trying my hardest now. If I can change this behavior and let apps be left open in the background, it would make many things a lot easier for me. However, after a little bit of testing it did not help at all with Google Photos. However, the photos I took were uploaded to iCloud and to my Mac mini seconds after I’ve taken them, so the problem remains. For now it makes me want to use Google photos even less, because I’m sick and tired of stuff not working properly! It can be a “good” backup, but nothing else, at least when we’re talking iOS vs Google.

After being an iPhone user with a physical home button for mainly all interactions, I’ve still not gotten used to using a home button. It feels weird, but I LOVE, Touch ID. With this new behavior I’m actually using the home button less, so that’s good. So, what’s the reason to letting apps be left open in the background? Well, that’s because iOS closes apps anyways after like 10 minutes and it uses less RAM if they’re left in the background. They say that if you take a picture with Google Photos in the background, it will wake up the app, but apparently not, but I’ll do some more testing…

I’ve also activated Apple Photos to store my photos and videos in iCloud. I still have like 4 GB left until I have to start paying for the service and I’ve noticed that more than 90% of my photos and videos stored in Google Photos are test videos or random, useless photos anyways so if I were to switch fully to Apple Photos instead, I’d be more careful with photos and videos I’d take. The reason I’m thinking of switching to Apple Photos is because it seems to be a more reliable service with faster uploads between devices, even if I do not use the storage option. Even if I’d start using Apple photos I can still continue to use Google photos anyway because it would be a good backup.

I actually tried to download my whole photo library I have on Google Photos, and I have 50 GB of stuff since like 2011 or something. Some of those photos were taken long before that, but I’m counting since I started using Picasa and then Google photos. If I’d go over to Apple Photos I’d probably take more “quality” photos than just random crap just because I can.

Ok, to sum it up – I have definitively noticed that I love being an Apple user and the Eco system is worth it all, even though it’s expensive as shit. I am starting to change as a person as well, because I am so sick of things never changing for the better. With me being an upcoming student again, I am hoping to change a whole lot more than just prefer being an Apple user. If I succeed, I’ll be a highly paid system/software developer, a WFPB vegan who’s lost 20+ lbs and regained her health and hopefully with a better hold on life than I have right now. I hope to change my behavior as well and learn to read books, not to get angry all the time because I don’t know the solution to things and most of all – I hope this all ends with me having a Great Dane by my side. As well as plenty more Apple products to boot 😂

What are your hopes for your future? Let me know in a comment below. Thanks!

Suddenly my current favorite song has a completely different meaning…

And my current favorite song is Thunder by Imagine Dragons. You can play it below if you have Spotify.

I love this song, for many reasons. The main one is the overall sound of it. I love the bass, the beat, the drums. I never really listened to the lyrics, but after I listened to the latest episode of #CreatorMindset by Jon Prosser, I was yet again moved by his words on how to be a better creator. This time I was inspired, instead of disappointed (or something). In my two last posts about being a YouTuber I contemplated stopping completely at being a creator on YouTube. Today I feel a bit different. I still wonder if I should upload my latest “non-masterpiece”, but I like what I’ve done, even though it’s far from the best. I might rewrite it and do a re-shoot, but we’ll see…

In the podcast, Jon said that the importance of what you create is not the content. It’s you. Why should people care about you? What makes your shit so special, in comparison with all other YouTubers? If a genre is in example here, Jon used Tech channels, since he’s got one himself. I, personally have no clue on what type of YouTuber I am. I want to make it all, it seems, but best is to have a theme. If that is the case I guess I’d like to make educational videos, but I have no idea on how I am supposed to make people care.

What’s special about me? Well, I’m a 36 year old woman, who hates being a woman as well. I suffer from Fibromyalgia and other illnesses. I want to become a “Whole Foods Plant Based” vegan. Now I’m just an unhealthy vegetarian with like 40+ lbs to lose. I want to lose weight and prove for others how it can be done if you’re as lazy as me and have disabilities standing in your way of success. I also want to become a developer, this late in life and I’ve been waiting for a Great Dane for over 20 years. I’ve been “poor” almost my entire adult life and I hate reading books and math is awful. I can’t climb trees, I’m afraid of the dumbest things, really and these days I seem to turn into a whole other person when I turn on the camera to make a video.

How can I make videos with all that in mind? If I take the song, Thunder in mind it sort of also explains a bit about myself. At least when I was younger. I was being bullied – for everything I did or said. Everything was wrong, even if it was the right thing for me. People loved to tease me, yet I couldn’t do much because back in those days you were supposed to be “a girl” and fit in no matter what. I did not fit in. I still do not really fit in and I love not fitting in. And I like to point that out in my creations. I am not like you, and I’m darn proud of it! Or something.

I am quite respected as a person these days and haven’t been bullied for like 15+ years now. I also do not feel most women feel, with all the feminist crap going on. I feel I get the respect I need and I hope it will be the same when I’m a developer. I don’t see a reason why that would change. If it did, it’s probably because of individual assholes who do not like me and I guess that’s fine? Eh, who cares… I’m getting off topic here.

Since I listened to the podcast, I’ve had a thousand different feelings rushing through my head. I’ve wanted to do a rant recording on why you should care about my crappy videos. But since most people wouldn’t watch anything I upload, why should a ranting video be any different?

I’ve noticed I have a style of doing videos. With the manuscripts I save so much time, with both editing and managing subtitles. The downside is that most of the time I look like a robot. At least these days. Look at these two videos below. Can you tell a difference on how much I’ve changed?

And here’s two years later:

On a positive note, the old video I really do see as a masterpiece of mine. Today, while writing this post I watched it again and I love it. That’s my true style of making Youtube videos. At least the somewhat educational ones.

The style of the videos I plan to make now are all the same. It’s like “my current life looks like this – but first a bit of annoying history”. I never really get to the point either. That’s something I know after I’ve re-read some of my newly made scripts that I plan to use sometimes. I am totally clueless, both when I write the scripts and when I do the shooting and editing. I forget so many things and I think I’m writing a masterpiece in the making that thousands of people will love. Nothing could be further from the truth. I make crap videos, that’s for sure!

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back, or at least get better at making YouTube videos. It would be so much fun if I could!

Now I wonder, what the fudge shall I do next?

A clarification on what I hope my future will look like.

After I wrote the blog post yesterday, I was completely blown away of the likes and retweets I got on Twitter. Also, I’m amazed at the number of readers and likes here on WordPress. Thanks, guys! One of the biggest things that happened was when I was writing the post yesterday and noticed that Jon, from FPT and the podcast #CreatorMindset actually replied to me on Twitter and even retweeted some of my stuff! That is heartwarming. Huge thank you to Jon, for that!

Anyways. I felt that I should continue this tiny success with another blog post, and clarify some more and also write a post with a happier feeling. Or some shit like that, at least…

As a creator, a blogger and a hopeful YouTuber I do have a vision of what I’d like to achieve. I bet we all have those visions. The difference is if we’ll be able to make them. For me, my vision won’t become true until I’ve got my Great Dane, or at least I know when I’ll be able to buy him. It is so clear in my head what I’d like to do when that day finally arrives. If I should mention it here, somebody might “steal” my idea, but I really don’t care about that. I just want to see it happen, is all. Actually, I’ve been waiting on a YouTube channel that will document the life of a Great Dane in every way that I plan to do it, but I’ve yet to seen it happen. The only channel that has come somewhat close was Honey the Great Dane who unfortunately has gone to the rainbow bridge… All the videos from Honey have been removed as well. A new channel has emerged, that might be a success as well, Finn the Great Dane along with Magic, his older “brother”. The really popular channel Max and Katie the Great Danes, upload videos frequently, but they’re only shorter videos, with low audio and basically the same clip over and over again. Unfortunately both Katie and Max has gone to the Rainbow bridge, but the channel seems to live on with a new sibling.

Actually, my future as a better YouTuber will most likely just contain videos recorded in HD, professionally edited and with the tiny details in mind. The video below gives you an example of what typical videos would look like, when there’s no talking involved.

I’d like to make great looking “vlogs”, training videos, talk about food, the importance of breeding dogs the right way, myths about Great Danes and other dog related myths. I’d like to make videos on how I teach my first Great Dane to be my service dog. If he’s able to come into work with me, I’ll show that. All while making it look as professional as possible. With professional, I mean that I’ll never record shaky video, vertical (horrible, awful vertical videos. Yuck!) and I’ll make sure the audio is great and that the footage will not be boring. When I do educational stuff, it should look professional as well, maybe with the help of a green screen?

My concept of vlogs is also not really the way people usually do it, like walking around holding their phone and showing stuff randomly. I might have sequences of that, but the whole vlog would most likely be me in front of a solid background talking about important stuff. Like a TLDR or something. Or like TomSka’s Content series. I hope that will be achievable someday.

Also, to be clear, I do not sit here and wish I could become a full-time YouTuber. No, way! Even if I would make it, I’d most likely do that as a spare-time thing. My real hopes and wishes regarding my future, is my future as a developer of some sorts. Whether it’s creating apps for a living, make software, making games or just work with CMS’s all day long – I don’t care! As long as I know I can work with something I’m passionate about, and also hopefully something I can be good at while making money and afford a Great Dane, I’m happy! That’s why I think that having the best of two worlds might be possible someday. While I’m waiting eagerly to get a Great Dane, I might be able to do videos like the channel sillysparrowness used to do on YouTube, before she lost access to her channel and stopped uploading. Those videos were great. Down below, there’s an example video of hers.

I’d like to do something similar, but in that case about me, learning to code as a somewhat disabled and “returning-to-school” person. For those of you who don’t know, I already have a bachelor’s degree in pedagogy. It took me 5 years to finish college, because of stupid teachers tearing my bachelor thesis apart. And it did not give me a job. Well, it’s not mainly due to the college program, it’s mainly due to my disability. I’ve applied for numerous job that I technically can have because of my degree, but since I haven’t worked that much and am sure that I can’t work full-time, nobody will even consider me. Also I’ve found out that I can never ever work full-time in any other business then IT business, so that’s why I’m going back to college and hope I can take my chances of working at least more than part time in the future.

To clarify something more, my last job, which also was my first real job – I got because of my personality and it was an adjusted work place, or whatever the term is. I worked at a non-profit organisation where most of the employees have some sort of disability. That place aims to make the world a better place for everybody, especially those with disabilities. It was great working there, but my job assignment was often way too simple for me and with my experience, my disabilities etc, I’ll probably never be able to get a more demanding (aka creative) job unless I switch careers. That’s why I’m going back to college, and I’ll know in a few weeks if I got in.

Until I’m there – I just hope for the best and during this time I’ll consider what kind of videos I should make, or if I should make any of them in the first place. The video about me being a border-line apple sheep is in the making and I’d really like to upload that one to YouTube. At least as a test, or a continuing experiment, but I might have to do some more editing until it’s ready for uploading.

Well, that’s it for now. Thanks for all the likes, retweets etc.

What the fudge am I supposed to do to get noticed around here…

I’ve been thinking about writing this blog post for a while now. At least for a week or something. In my crazy mind, that’s like forever or something, but it seems like, for total other reasons than my original thoughts, I have other reasons to write this blog post as well. I’m writing this with sadness, as well as hope, and I’ve got some people to thank and “blame” for that. But mostly thanks.

A post can take anything from a few minutes to write to several days depending on how much time I spend thinking about what I wanna write. As a blogger I write posts to get stuff out of my head. To make my head (or stupid brain) be quiet. I have found since I started blogging for real in 2009 that it’s basically the only thing that makes my brain go quiet and calm down. I have to write stuff down to not go totally nuts! That’s why blogging is a great tool for me. It’s my own personal therapist or something…

As a blogger, I have never really cared about how I write stuff or who I write it for. This goes for all my blogs I’ve had in the past, present or future. Even this one that actually has somewhat of a theme. As a blogger I basically start all my posts right at the top of my head. Then I just write. I write until I feel I’m finished with the post. I check everything, several times and change or add stuff if it’s needed. I add categories, perhaps a photo or a relevant video, I add some tags and then I post to social media platforms. Then I hope people will read it and learn something. These days people are caring less and less and I know why. It’s because of mistakes I made by changing blogging platforms too often, switching domains and web hotels as often as one would change his shirt and not having a proper theme. I never feel “finished”, because when I do feel that, I tend to change something anyways and I’m back to square one. Because of this I feel that those people who used to read my blogs a lot back in the day have started to put less faith in me, and therefore do not care as much as they used to. Really, that’s fine, but inside I’m desperate for readers, comments and maintaining a growing readership. Something that will probably never happen – until I have learned from my mistakes for real. I always think that day is today. But it’s never that easy…

As a YouTuber, I should probably never even have started creating videos. I’ve probably mentioned this way too many times already, but for a little history lesson – I’ll update you as best as I can for now. Basically I’ve uploaded and created so many videos I do not know where to start. I started the first channel in 2009 or something like that and managed to gather quite a little following. A following that wasn’t enough for me. And then we’re talking like 100+ subs! So I quit. Erased the channel. Stopped uploading. Went quiet. Until somewhere around 2011. then I started a new channel again. Less people cared, even though I spent a lot of time editing those videos and coming up with “amazing” ideas for videos. So I quit. Erased the channel. Stopped uploading. Went quiet. Until somewhere around a year later and then the cycle continues.

Where I am now I can consider myself being a realistic Epic Failure or something. I know where I went wrong, but I don’t know how to fix it. It didn’t help that I managed to create a bunch of videos about the Inman Aligner treatment that got me a lot of views and some new subscribers, only to change the theme of the channel completely too many years to soon. Instead of having a general “bad vlogging” channel about dentistry, I changed it to be all about Great Danes. That’s a dream of mine I’ve had since YouTube came along, but there’s never been a Great Dane in my life I can call my own. And now, since sometime last year or so there won’t be until I’m like a full-time employee as a system developer, which will take at least 3 more years until that will happen.

When I realized that I won’t be getting a Great Dane now, both my current channels died out and I haven’t really done anything to them, until recently. I figured that I’d at least upload general videos about “whatever” to my current “main” channel, but I guess I changed my mind again. And this I’ve done for a great reason, I guess.

I’ve recently started to listen to a lot of podcasts. I find this hobby of mine to be somewhat of a miracle, since my brain can never focus hard enough to read a book instead, but listen in on interesting conversations seems to be a lot easier. That’s why I like listening to podcasts now. Especially after having an iPhone because iTunes is simply the best service for podcasts in my view! And also because I’ve become somewhat obsessed with Tailosive Tech and other related channels like Front Page Tech and Painfully Honest Tech etc…

Today I listened to the newly created Creator Mindset, that’s made by Jon Prosser from the YouTube channel Front Page Tech. Holy shit, did I learn something. It made me sad when I listened to it, but also even more realistic. To be clear, I’ve never intended for blogging or making YouTube videos a thing that I could make money from. If that would ever happen, I’d probably do a whole lot of sponsorships, use Patreon instead of Adsense, sell merch etc. However, like I’ve stated before in this post, I am a blogger and a bad YouTuber who “never learns from my mistakes”. Or at least not let other people know that that’s true or something. I get the feeling that viewers and readers do not trust me.

I’m starting to feel like a stalker or some shit, but I can’t help loving the content I’m watching from so many awesome tech channels these days. It’s basically no wonder why I feel so obsessed with these tech YouTubers. It’s because I feel a connection to them. They have opinions and keep discussions in a way that’s similar to mine. They’re not scared of having opinions. They’re funny guys as well. I mean, I’m in heaven whenever I watch or listen to their stuff! Even though I’m probably old enough to be Drew’s mother or something like that… It’s thanks to them I got motivated and kept the strength I needed to get a passing grade in math during the spring of 2018. Drew, taught me to look at technology from another perspective and respect it. Jon, from FPT made me realize and confirm that it’s ok to be friends with people who have different opinions. Painfully Honest Tech creates videos, even though he’s not in his twenties…

This specific blog have gotten a few followers, and I’m so thankful for that. If I’m lucky I can get like 7-10 readings of a post. But then – when I do not write, the blog is absolutely dead. I mean 0 views when I’m not writing a post. Sometimes it can go weeks before I write something, and if I’ve been lucky in between those posts, I might have 3 readers, but none from Google searches and basically I’ve gotten one comment since I started this blog. I wonder why that is, but I know that it’s because I suck at basically everything that Jon said in that podcast of his. I wonder where my readers are, where my YouTube viewers are. Where my comments are. I’ve done this for years, mind you! Nagged and nagged until I’ve gotten blue in the face. And with each single post or whining about this crap, people have started to care less and less. With their equal and fully right to do so. So I’ve stopped doing that, the nagging that is. It hasn’t really helped my content get noticed, though… But it sure helped my mind to focus more on how to be a better blogger.

Basically only my closest friends and family follows my blogs on Facebook. I rarely get readers from outside my IRL friends. People on YouTube and perhaps other platforms are still expecting update videos about the Inman Aligner, when I’ve made several videos stating that my other channel will only be about Great Danes from now on. People don’t seem to get it. And now I get it…

It’s basically impossible to “become famous” or whatever the term you might use is, if you only do stuff for yourself. I get why I have to and need to blog about my thoughts, because I do need to do that. The price I have to pay for that is that nobody cares, or if they do, they do not let me know how I helped them get better at something. I know that I will only become “famous” or get noticed in bigger circle the day I have a proper theme. On YouTube that will be the day when I know my future first Great Dane is on the way. I might not be a big channel, but my bar is low. Even if I’d reach just a little bit more, I’d be satisfied. At least for now. If I’m being realistic I know that there’s less chance to make it no matter what, but I don’t care. I really want to be a creator – in so many ways.

I personally think that I create masterpieces, but those masterpieces are only masterpieces in my head, because they haven’t led to any kind of success. When I make YouTube videos, I’m doing it for two reasons. One – because I want to make them for myself, because I like the process (editing and writing manuscripts is so much fun!). Two – because I hope that people will learn something, be inspired or at least start to care about other people’s point of view. Hey, my tagline is generally “I like to make people think”. But no matter what I try to do – only I care about my creations in the end. And I guess that’s fine?

So, my dilemma as of now is – what do I do next? I have a YouTube video in the making about my current life as a border line Apple sheep, but after listening to Jon’s podcast – I’m reconsidering if it’s even worth uploading. Chances are nobody will care about it. I will make up half the views by just spending time on making subtitles. If I spend “that much time” and I’ll get nothing back for it – then it probably means I’m not good enough for YouTube. And I guess that’s fine? It makes me sad and angry that I am currently in this situation. My mistakes got me to this situation. If I’d sit tight and just kept my original channel and kept uploading content, I might have had thousands of subscribers by now and I might have even been one of the “bigger ones” on YouTube. Making videos could even be considered an income on the side, if I’d play my cards right, but instead I kept making mistakes and now when I really seem to care – it’s too late?

I know that my last video was garbage. The next one probably is too. The third one and probably every single thing I upload in the future will be a bunch of crap, but that’s life. I have basically never been good at anything. The things I am “good at” don’t really mean anything. Not in a professional life, because my “skills” haven’t gotten me a job because of it. I’m great at speaking in front of people. Making speeches. I’m like fluent in English, even though I’m Swedish. I’m funny and I make people laugh. I basically always have a different opinion then most common folk. I am not afraid of having an opinion.

I’ve always had a busy mind, but I’ve never been able to draw, write a book, make a successful YouTube video. I’ve been on TV, on auditions, and I’ve sung in front of millions of people watching. But I’m no singer. I can’t sing for shit. So I’ve stopped doing that. I haven’t officially sung a song in like 10 years or something. I realized I can’t sing, so that’s why I stopped doing that, even though I loved singing back in the day.

Basically everything I’ve ever loved doing, I suck at. Basically everything that’s more useful – I find boring or too challenging. I can’t sing. Can’t draw. Can’t code (yet). Can’t make useful YouTube videos. Can’t make people love my writing etc. Can’t do shit… But I’m sort of ok with that. It’s not only that I can’t do shit. In most cases, I have physical and mental blockages that stops me from doing these things. I can’t do anything really about those. I did not choose to be born with illnesses and be disabled the way I am.

However, I want to express my thanks and gratitude for listening to that Podcast Jon made. It really made me think and evaluate what’s important. Is it important for me to be a famous blogger? Be known on YouTube as the GreatDaneManiac and get recognized on the streets because my channel is so awesome? Well, not really.

The only thing I want and have wanted for years is a Great Dane, a stable income with a passionate job and a loving partner. I have the last thing❤️, but my 20+ years longing for a Great Dane is more my life story than anything else. The only real job I’ve ever had just ended, and it was not a secure job either, so having a Great Dane while working there would only have ended in misery… It’s hard to make continuous videos about that. Not to mention blog posts. That’s why I’ve sort of stopped, because I can’t really spend time on stuff that nobody besides me cares about.

I do have a clear vision of what my future as a somewhat successful YouTuber would look like. If I can achieve that someday, I know I’ll make it, but it will take something I do not have in my possession today. First of all I’d need a Great Dane. Then only time will tell.

Maybe it will be different the day I start college again? Maybe then I’ll make videos on what it’s like to study software development as a disabled student? Maybe everything will be ok when I can finally afford getting a Great Dane and I start documenting in a really professional way what it’s like to live with a Great Dane… Nobody on YouTube have yet to manage that. I’d like to be the first one! I have really no idea, but until then – I think I’ll stop making any kind of YouTube creations because I do not think I’m made for it anyway. At least not the way things are right now.

No matter what people I know IRL says to me about my mad skills…

My thoughts regarding the 6.1″ iPhone 2018 rumors…

Ok, as per usual – let’s talk more Apple products! It’s not like I can’t do anything else so… I’ve had some thoughts about the rumored 6.1″ iPhone that’s scheduled to be released in the fall of 2018. I, personally hope that this rumor isn’t true, but if it is, I hope that it’s gonna have something more (or less) to offer, depending on how you see it.

If the rumors are true, I wonder – why is that? I mean, why release a bigger iPhone X, but with cheaper specs, probably no 3D touch, lcd screen instead of OLED, and just a single camera? I mean, I have nothing against a cheaper model of the iPhone’s but I don’t understand if it’s going to be bigger than the X from last year. That just seems kinda pointless and weird. Ok, after listening through some podcasts about this topic (mainly Tailosive Tech, of course😍) and watching several videos about it, I know a little bit more, but I still feel that it is such a weird thing for Apple to release. Usually it’s always the smallest phone that is the more “budget friendly” option, so why this change if it’s true?

In my personal view, and also with some of the Tailosive team’s view from an older episode of the podcast, it feels more of a “scam” or something. I mean, it’s more likely that Apple has purposefully released false rumors to throw off the scent from other rumors about the upcoming iPhones leaking out. Also, people got fired from Apple last year – because of the rumors of the iPhone X, so why not spread false rumors?

In my personal view it would also make more sense if Apple would release 3 phones this year, but instead of the 6.1″ phone, they’d release somewhat of a merge between the rumored iPhone SE 2 and the 6.1″ phone.

I mean, I’d preferably see an updated iPhone SE rather than the budget 6.1″ iPhone. At least if the rumors turn out to be true. I will not buy it anyway, since I just got the original SE a couple of weeks back. If the SE 2 would look like the iPhone X, with the notch, had wireless charging, and maybe dual cameras and a starting price of like $500-600, that would probably be a better deal for many instead of the rumored budget version. Unless they actually release both, but I probably see that as very unlikely at this moment. Anyways, with the SE 2 looking like the X, it would most likely have a 5.5″ screen as well. Below you can see what I most likely hope to see when the new iPhones will be released in September. I also think that the names of the phone in my case would be

  • iPhone Mini (former SE with 5,5″ screen)
  • iPhone X (2018 with 5,8″ screen)
  • iPhone X Plus (with 6,5″ screen)
iphone-x-iphone-se-2
This is what I think Apple would release in September 2018. Depicted from the left, the iPhone Mini, followed by an updated iPhone X and then the iPhone X Plus. Photo was found on technobezz.com.

If the rumors about the 6.1″ iPhone are true, I really do hope that it will not be a cheaper model. I sincerely hope that it will just be a slightly bigger iPhone X with all the specs, but when I’m writing that, it does not make sense. I mean, why would you want the same phone, but just “slightly” bigger than the 5.8″ version? If it’s only the size that matters, then I guess it would only make sense that Apple would release a newer version of the X and then an X plus and no more, right? Or perhaps add a refreshed SE to the mix with the so called “iPhone 8 treatment”. That means that the SE 2 would get the A11 chip, glass back for wireless charging and an upgraded camera or something, but nothing spectacular. The screen would also remain at 4″ with kept Touch-ID. The price would most likely be kept low, just like it has with the SE since its release.

iPhone X vs iPhone SE
Screenshot between the iPhone X and iPhone SE. It’s a huge size difference even between these two models. Screenshot was taken on phonearena.com 

All and all, I think it’s important for a lot of people that Apple will always have a tinier phone like the SE. That’s because of many reasons, I think. Due to the small form factor, to remember Steve Jobs by and many other reasons. Otherwise I believe that Apple will have a huge problem with customers who refuse to buy a bigger phone, just because of “reasons, tho'”.

I’ve stated before, that the phone I’d be buying is the cheapest one where I’d get “everything”. Also, after using the SE for a while, I’d preferably keep the smaller phone factor. But that won’t happen until another few years down the line. Everything also means, the best battery life, the best camera features and the best specs I can get for the cheapest price possible for a a new iPhone. Or old, depending on where I’m at and where Apple is at when it’s time to upgrade.

Also, to point out – I am not a tech reviewer. This is the first time ever I’ve blogged or wrote about my suspicions regarding the next iPhone. I’ve had over the years, of course, learned about the rumors of the next iPhone, but I’ve never discussed them myself, since I’ve never really planned on buying one, but here we are… Finally, right?😂

This is also one of the shortest posts I’ve written in like a year I think. What an accomplishment!

I’m in love with the iPhone SE!

Yep. It’s true. This little thing has started to grow on me like crazy. It does what it should. It’s easy enough to type on and even though the battery is tiny it is only a problem while I’m on the road. As long as I’m home or at least on a great WiFi connection and use the phone normally, I’ll get like 5-6 hours SOT with about 40-50% battery left when it’s time to sleep. That’s pretty good!

I also really like the tiny format in other ways. First of all, it’s easy to hold and handle with one hand. Mostly though, I’ve been using both hands for most tasks, but that’s mainly because I’m used to that. The camera is amazing! iOS 11 is amazing! Everything is basically amazing!

Close up of some sushi I had yesterday. Look at this amazing quality! #mindblown

I got the new custom case as well last Monday and that has made me love the phone even more. You can see the result of my custom case in the featured image of this post. It is awesome to be able to share to the world that I can put whatever I want on a case and make the phone I own even more personal. I love sticking out from a crowd 😉! I love that feeling and the case I got feels like premium stuff! Then being able to put apps wherever I want on the home screen doesn’t matter as much. I really do not miss android. I still do however feel like iOS and Apple are a bit too locked down when it comes to notifications and custom sounds. Personally, I’ve managed to fix all the issues with notifications so far so now I’m all good, but for those who do not know this can be done, it sure is a difficult process to achieve.

I got a bit shocked when I learned that the alarm volume is tied with the ringer and alert volume. However, I’ve managed to solve that issue. I created the song I wanted in GarageBand and the basics of that was that I lowered the output volume in GarageBand to like 20% or something like that and made sure it exported in that volume as well. Then I put the song I wanted as an iTunes song on my phone and then I just had to choose the right song and problem solved! Somehow this is also possible to do in iTunes itself, but I wasn’t able to make it work and after some more testing I’ve concluded that it does not work for turning down alarm volume. It however works for playing songs in a lower volume while listening to music added via iTunes on a computer. A disclaimer however is probably needed. In order to have an alarm with a lower volume, it only works with non-native songs or sounds you’ve created yourself somehow. If you like the native sounds and alarms that come with your phone, you’re stuck since I do not know how you otherwise can access them and then edit them. The sound I used was found on zedge.net (the website, not the app!) and as far as I know it is legal to use. If not, I’m not to blame, the uploader of the sound is.

Also I am writing, mainly the whole post, on my iPhone SE and it works great! The typing experience is far better in English though, since it’s predictable and autocorrect works like a charm. Writing in Swedish works well too, but since I have some problems with my fingers, I have a tendency to spell words wrong more in Swedish than in English. The problem I have, is that instead of pressing the space bar, I instead hit the “b” or “v” button. It’s really annoying but I have that problem no matter what phone I’ve used with a touchscreen. I don’t know why this happens, though but I do not like it. It also usually happens more when I have sweatier fingers. As far as I know I had the same problem with the blackberry sometimes as well so it is entirely my issue and not a touchscreen issue. I have fibromyalgia and I am stiff all over generally all the time, so having trouble typing is just something I’ve gotten used too. I’ve always had trouble using my hands and fingers for basically everything… It’s amazing that I can tie my own shoes and brush my hair, or something. That’s basically how bad my hands and fingers work, or at least that’s how I feel about it. I also have trouble with touchscreens in general if the touch sensitivity is too low and I’ve noticed on this phone that I have to either press harder or hit the right spot more if I want to go back or just do whatever. It could be an iOS issue or just an issue with this phone but I figured out early how to press and where so that’s not that big of a deal anymore.

All and all I loving this phone and I am so happy that I got it! I’m so happy that my boyfriend bought me an iPhone and I love the custom case options I’ll have for a long future to come! As of now I’m happy with the size, but I’m still curious if the iPhone SE 2 will come this fall and what other iPhones will be released as well. No matter what I’ll keep this one for now and I hope that will be enough. It sure is for now, at least!

It is also rumoured that a bigger iPhone with a 6.1″ screen will be released and that it will be a lot cheaper than both the X and the rumoured X Plus. If I play around with the idea that I get to upgrade this year, I’m only interested in the cheapest phone. Or should I say the cheapest one with the biggest battery that also carries the portrait mode and portrait light features.

If that’s the X, the X Plus or the cheaper rumoured 6.1″ X Lite or whatever it’ll be called, I don’t care. The phone with the cheapest price will win me over IF (and that’s a big IF) the other stuff comes with it as well. Otherwise I’ll might buy an old iPhone X in a few years when it’s time to upgrade. Or the latest one if I’m “rich” by then… Like I’ve said before, those portrait photo things and a bigger battery is basically everything I’d want for now in this phone. I have no complaints otherwise. I love this tiny little thing!

Do you have the iPhone SE? If so, what do you think about it? Write a comment below and let me know your thoughts!