Programming terminology – and why I suck at it…

There are some important words to remember, that I have to learn. That I still haven’t learned, or I keep forgetting them. Damn fibromyalgia!🤬

Words like allocate, processor, expression, value, arguments, constructor, parse and a gazillion others. I’ve studied programming now for over a month, almost two and I’ve learned the “basics” of just programming. I know how to declare variables, arrays and lists. I also (think) I know what they are and how to use them. I don’t really know what they do and what they are for, but I’m gonna learn it eventually. Or I know it, but can’t explain it in words, just in code.

I know what the different loops are and when they are (probably) most useful, but I can’t really explain them. Yeah, same problem even there… If I were to have a discussion with classmates it seems I’m one of the experts, but some days I don’t know a thing or something… The biggest problems I currently have with learning Java and programming in general are the basics underneath the basics and how to remember how you did that thing to get that output. People have also said that you’ll only remember how to program if you keep programming. Practice makes perfect! And that’s true!

For example there is an error I’ve gotten quite often since learning about arrays, and I have no idea why. It’s called StringIndexOutOfBoundsException and I got a tip that if I get an error, I should “read up” until I’ve solved the problem. The problem with my stupid crappy brain is that the documentation to me is often gibberish for my brain so I do not understand the explanation for the problem. As a beginner programming student, that might be fine, but I realized today that I should understand this gibberish and know how to solve it, but I can’t, unless I’ve encountered it too many times and learned how to solve it (or to prevent how to make it happen in the first place) and then I’ve learned it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I know what that error was, but I made sure it didn’t happen again when I’ll run a program.

I’ve noticed that I learn the majority of programming by actually programming and making mistakes, trying to fix them. I do this often the wrong way, by asking others instead of reading the books, googling, visiting stack overflow or reading the documentation. It’s a bad habit I am trying my best to change and I’m slowly improving. Note, that there’s nothing wrong in asking for help, but sometimes I’ve done this first instead of trying to solve something myself or I “cheat” and watch the tutorial video or have a look at the teachers provided source code.

I have to clarify, that often when I peek at the source code, it’s to find ONE way to solve my problem. I often try and try again until I turn blue in the face but the more I try, the more I learn, regarding programming itself, but just not the how and the why or something. My main problem is still to “read up” on stuff and picking up the book is really hard, but I have to try. There is apparently no other way…?

How to remember all of this, all the terminology and such is a huge hassle for me. It’s mainly due to me having fibromyalgia with brain fog as my main enemy besides aching muscles and total body stiffness some days of the week. If it’s not everyday, that is. My muscles basically always ache no matter what. If I’m lucky I can have better days where I remember more and I have the energy to do more as well, but those days are very few if they occur at all. Generally I have maybe two weeks in a year, scattered over the whole year where I feel like I’m on top of the world and can do anything. Most days I’m so tired I don’t know what to do with myself and now as a college student – it fucking sucks to have these disabilities I struggle with!

I understand the basics of programming and I’ve learned a lot I think, but clearly not enough to pass the final exam in a few weeks. If I’m in class and the teacher explains something, I understand what happens, but I do not use the correct terminology for it and I keep forgetting what the words are. I still in the end will learn and understand what I’m supposed to do to solve something, but the solution for it is basically to explain something to me like I’m three years old and in very plain English sometimes. At least on those days where my brain really does not want to work and I can barely find my way home and know my own name…

One example I use is instead of saying something like: “You haven’t allocated enough memory to/for the processor to run the program or installation”, I say “Do you have enough memory?”. See the difference? I know in this situation that you need at least good enough hardware (in this case memory or RAM) in order to do something with a computer, but I can’t find the correct terms to use – so I use whatever words I can find. I still understand (somewhat depending on the fibromyalgia) what’s going on, but how do I prove it using a piece of paper during an examination? That I have no clue on how to fix…

Anyways, that’s what I have to change. I need to speak more using data terms. Otherwise I’ll never learn this properly or get a proper feel for programming, because then I won’t understand it. Not to mention I have to get better at math as well, but yeah – that’s a whole other story to tell…

I also suck at reading. I hate reading, because it’s boring and I seldom learn anything by reading books. I prefer watching stuff, trying it myself, discussing it with others and writing about it. At least when it comes to learning something new, which I basically want to do all the time if I could. I feel that I need a different approach to learning programming, and even if I pass this class, I’m guessing that my knowledge of programming will become enhanced after I’ve done some more creative stuff. I had the idea that I wanted to make a little project of my own, in order to feel creative and “satisfied” wit how I learn everything I’m doing in college right now. The solution would be in my mind to create sort of a super quiz where I use all the knowledge I have regarding programming to ask myself questions about Computer Science as well as programming. I’d make sure to have all the sections in this quiz so I’d learn everything and then I’d answer the questions myself.

This is probably a great idea but there’s a huge problem. I do not have time for it. I barely have time to get to class, “read the books”, and do all the tasks asked of me by the teachers. I spend over 30 hours per week (not included traveling) including valuable time on the weekends to make sure I’ve done all I can for the next lecture or deadline. So far I’ve made it in time, but when that’s done – I’m so pooped the only thing I can do is watch tv, eat something and then go to bed. I haven’t seen a single friend I think since the first week of college, because I don’t have the energy to spend for anything outside of school. I fucking hate it!

I love school, it feels so right but sometimes I wonder if I’ve waited too many years to do this. I did not feel this bad 10 or so years ago when I started college the first time in 2009. My health, even if it was not good, it was not as bad as it is these days. Weight gain and a lot less exercise and interesting hobbies are the result of that, and especially a very poor diet!

Anyway, even if that program was a full-time thing, I did not spend 40 hours a week studying. About 5 – 10 was enough for me in general including lectures and seminars. And it’s been like that no matter what I’ve done in a full-time program at school or work, except obligatory hours I had to spend in middle school and high school. This is the first time in my life where I’m really active, using my brain and most of all – where I actually want to learn something and become something special or “something more”. And if I can – I will do this for about three more years and then hopefully full-time at my future employer.

I felt like crying yesterday, because I thought that if I can’t do this – my only choice is to be poor, probably never able to afford a Great Dane and have lousy, non passionate jobs that a robot can do instead. Also it will mean that I’ll never be able to work more than 20 hours a week… Not that I desperately want or need to work 40 hours a week, but the pay is pretty low when you can only work part-time and only simple desk jobs that are very non-creative. If I could work 20 hours a week and earn like $3000 a month (at least before Swedish taxes), which gives me about $2300 net income, I do not need to work full-time but I doubt I’ll earn that much with so few hours. Just to clarify – that income might seem low to you, but for me it’s like three times as much as I’ve ever made, being unemployed or with a disability pension. I felt like a rich king with my first job, but I did not earn that much in total, but I do not spend money, really. I like saving up, but I’d love to earn a lot more money in the future so I can save a lot more.

Anyway, going back to what happened yesterday, about what I realized. That made me so sad and angry. Not to mention frustrated. I have like 2 weeks or so to study like crazy for the exams. I feel pretty sure at the CS class, but I have to study a whole lot more for the programming class, but as long as I at least can learn the terminology I’m probably gonna pass the class. Since I am a student with a disability I can get help from the college, but I haven’t contacted anybody yet, because I’d like to try first myself. I feel like if I could do some extra credit stuff, I’d could probably earn myself a passing grade, but we’ll see if that’s even gonna be necessary.

I love what I’m doing. I couldn’t want anything else, but knowledge really and some better routines for learning. But it’s fun, challenging and if I make it – the possibilities are endless!

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MeWe, Google+ and chatty creeps…

To many of you within technology as well as various social media platforms, you might have heard the news that Google+ is gonna shut down in august 2019. For me it’s been something I’ve waited for a long time because for me, the platform has turned into a “boring” and pointless platform for me to be on. It was a lot of fun, with tons of interactions and new online friendships and that lasted from 2011 until like 2014 or so. After Vic Gundotra decided to leave Google, something happened and people on G+ noticed the change immediately. It was no fun anymore for many of us. Some still has fun and are so sad to see it go, but for me it will probably be a relief.

For the past years I’ve basically used Google+ as a link forum or something. I only use it to send my blog posts. A good thing, right? Well – it would be if I could get any decent numbers of readers and interactions from my posts over there, but no. About 0.1% maybe of my posts gets comments and/or gets read, but I’m not gonna complain about that. I am not perfect. I’ve basically stopped interacting myself, but that’s mainly because I feel I do not get the return I deserve.

There’s basicaly a hidden rule on any social media platform, and that’s you have to make some noice and be active with comments, likes etc to get some attention yourself. It’s a give and take game. Of course, this might not be true for everybody, but it’s a common theme. In the beginning this was true for G+, but not any longer, but I’v also stopped keeping tabs on who’s who so I couldn’t really say. All I know is that comments are super rare, even plusses and I should be the happiest person alive if I can get 1 person to read a blog post of mine from that platform. Most of my readers come from Facebook or Twitter. I’ve mentioned before that this blog is especially dead whenever I do not post here. It’s so weird! I don’t get it?! What have I done wrong? My Swedish blog is found on Google daily with many searching for stuff I’ve written about, but this one – nobody sees it unless they follow me on Twitter, Facebook or withing WordPress.com itself. I have gained almost 20 followers here, which is awesome, but many of you do not read my posts either, but I don’t care. I have to write. If you read it, that’s great. If you learned something, that’s even better and if you comment – you’ve probably made my day.

Anywhoo… I did not plan for this post to be a lengthy boring one about interactions and comments, but I wanted to tell you like it is. As of now, since I’m a college student I’m considering myself lucky to have the time at all to write a blog post, so this is great either way. This post is gonna be a lot more, hopefully about a new social media platform that I’ve fled to recently. It’s called MeWe, and so far it’s been pretty great, even though it’s not perfect yet.

I’ve been on MeWe for like a week now. I went to Diaspora first, but since they lack a mobile app for iOS, it’s nothing I’ve used frequently since the news about G+ came out. It’s not like I need a new platform to be on, but after I found MeWe, I was pretty sold on their concept and it reminds me a lot of Google+ in the earlier days.

However, MeWe does have a giant drawback that I almost noticed way too late. Not to be rude, but I’m a bit disappointed if you read this and you’ve chatted with me on MeWe, but I gotta write about this.

I thought, since I’d be “switching” to MeWe instead of G+ that I’d continue with the principle I had from the start over there. That was a principle that I’d add everybody who wanted to add me and that way I got to know more people. On G+, there was Hangouts, group video calls that were a great opportunity to get to know people from all over the world. MeWe does have that too, but things have changed since those early days on G+. Now I’m not interested in video chatting or having calls with total strangers. The funny thing is that since I joined MeWe, about 7 people or so added me there that I’ve chatted with. Three of them were men, in perhaps their 60’s, working in the U.S military and wanted to find Swedish “girls” to chat with and somehow they found me. The first guy I talked to was nice and that went pretty great. Then, like a day after another person, stationed in the same country as him started chatting with me. He wanted to be “best friends” or something after fifteen minutes of chat. I said “Sure”, but I changed my mind pretty fast afterwards. That was due to all the other people I accepted as contacts that started chats with me. If they kept writing to me, it was all the same questions. Something like this:

Hi, my name is bla bla, I am single, US military in my 60’s looking for Swedish people. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? Can I be your best friend? Can I add you on “insert-other-chat-message-service-here”?Can I get your email? Can I get to know you better? Etc…

Ok, not all of them were older men, but the questions were basically the same. One of the guys actually called me up after I specifically told them NO to all kinds of other interactions besides just chatting (in writing, that is) on MeWe. That pissed me off, and I made the decision to stop this thing and then I wrote a post on my timeline at MeWe. I asked people to comment if they have chatted with me, telling me why they wanted to do so. NOBODY ANSWERED! So I deleted them as contacts and I deleted the chats as well.

It was pretty obvious that they did not really care about me, and probably only wanted and hoped I’d be single and become their next girlfriend or hump-toy or something. Nobody read my profile, where basically all they asked was printed already, nobody liked a post, read my blog etc. I have no need whatsoever to keep in touch with people like that. I prefer focusing on my own life, as a college student and everything else that’s important to me. Total strangers on MeWe who wants somebody as lonely as them to talk to better find somebody else than me for that. I don’t have time for that! Not now, and not ever!

Now I shall continue with my studies. I’m programming all day long and now we’re learning about Arrays. That’s a lot of fun!

Suddenly my current favorite song has a completely different meaning…

And my current favorite song is Thunder by Imagine Dragons. You can play it below if you have Spotify.

I love this song, for many reasons. The main one is the overall sound of it. I love the bass, the beat, the drums. I never really listened to the lyrics, but after I listened to the latest episode of #CreatorMindset by Jon Prosser, I was yet again moved by his words on how to be a better creator. This time I was inspired, instead of disappointed (or something). In my two last posts about being a YouTuber I contemplated stopping completely at being a creator on YouTube. Today I feel a bit different. I still wonder if I should upload my latest “non-masterpiece”, but I like what I’ve done, even though it’s far from the best. I might rewrite it and do a re-shoot, but we’ll see…

In the podcast, Jon said that the importance of what you create is not the content. It’s you. Why should people care about you? What makes your shit so special, in comparison with all other YouTubers? If a genre is in example here, Jon used Tech channels, since he’s got one himself. I, personally have no clue on what type of YouTuber I am. I want to make it all, it seems, but best is to have a theme. If that is the case I guess I’d like to make educational videos, but I have no idea on how I am supposed to make people care.

What’s special about me? Well, I’m a 36 year old woman, who hates being a woman as well. I suffer from Fibromyalgia and other illnesses. I want to become a “Whole Foods Plant Based” vegan. Now I’m just an unhealthy vegetarian with like 40+ lbs to lose. I want to lose weight and prove for others how it can be done if you’re as lazy as me and have disabilities standing in your way of success. I also want to become a developer, this late in life and I’ve been waiting for a Great Dane for over 20 years. I’ve been “poor” almost my entire adult life and I hate reading books and math is awful. I can’t climb trees, I’m afraid of the dumbest things, really and these days I seem to turn into a whole other person when I turn on the camera to make a video.

How can I make videos with all that in mind? If I take the song, Thunder in mind it sort of also explains a bit about myself. At least when I was younger. I was being bullied – for everything I did or said. Everything was wrong, even if it was the right thing for me. People loved to tease me, yet I couldn’t do much because back in those days you were supposed to be “a girl” and fit in no matter what. I did not fit in. I still do not really fit in and I love not fitting in. And I like to point that out in my creations. I am not like you, and I’m darn proud of it! Or something.

I am quite respected as a person these days and haven’t been bullied for like 15+ years now. I also do not feel most women feel, with all the feminist crap going on. I feel I get the respect I need and I hope it will be the same when I’m a developer. I don’t see a reason why that would change. If it did, it’s probably because of individual assholes who do not like me and I guess that’s fine? Eh, who cares… I’m getting off topic here.

Since I listened to the podcast, I’ve had a thousand different feelings rushing through my head. I’ve wanted to do a rant recording on why you should care about my crappy videos. But since most people wouldn’t watch anything I upload, why should a ranting video be any different?

I’ve noticed I have a style of doing videos. With the manuscripts I save so much time, with both editing and managing subtitles. The downside is that most of the time I look like a robot. At least these days. Look at these two videos below. Can you tell a difference on how much I’ve changed?

And here’s two years later:

On a positive note, the old video I really do see as a masterpiece of mine. Today, while writing this post I watched it again and I love it. That’s my true style of making Youtube videos. At least the somewhat educational ones.

The style of the videos I plan to make now are all the same. It’s like “my current life looks like this – but first a bit of annoying history”. I never really get to the point either. That’s something I know after I’ve re-read some of my newly made scripts that I plan to use sometimes. I am totally clueless, both when I write the scripts and when I do the shooting and editing. I forget so many things and I think I’m writing a masterpiece in the making that thousands of people will love. Nothing could be further from the truth. I make crap videos, that’s for sure!

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back, or at least get better at making YouTube videos. It would be so much fun if I could!

Now I wonder, what the fudge shall I do next?

Vertical Videos are the worst🙄🤦🏻‍♀️, but IGTV might be the solution…

For those who know me personally, or have read my blog posts for years know that I really dislike Vertical Videos (VV or VVS for short). It might, in my opinion be the worst thing about having smartphones and every “Idiot” having a camera in their pocket. It’s also only getting worse. I remember when VV started to become a thing, back in like 2012 or something. Then people screamed like crazy and wondered what the fudge was wrong with people. YouTube channels made videos after video, asking people to turn their phone 90 degrees and that kept going for years. And then I guess it all went silent. Instead of 8 people out of 10 screaming their heads off about recording videos vertically, 9 out of 10 people now gladly or preferably record vertical videos instead. It’s horrible!

I’ve always said, that if I ever got an iPhone, I’d be like one (of the other 10 or so) out of thousands, or millions of people using iOS that would ALWAYS record in landscape mode, and I am keeping this promise. If not for everybody else, then at least for my own sanity. I find that hilarious and of course I know I’m exaggerating. Its at least a thousand people with iPhones who think like I do in this matter 😂. Ok, jokes aside, but vertical videos are no joke for me. I really fricking hate it! Ok, I’ve calmed down a bit these past years. Instead of nagging and complaining to people to stop record vertically, I’ve instead tried my best to avoid watching videos that are recorded in that horrible manner. Unfortunately the problem is getting bigger everyday and I’ve actually had to force myself to accept that my friends, family members and even my BF records a lot of vertical video. The reason as to why I’ve stopped complaining to them is because it’s useless and I’m sick and tired of turning my arguments into a meaningless fight or something. People still just doesn’t get it!

They say, that’s it’s easier to hold that way. We always use our phones like that, so why not record that way? “Isn’t that the way you’re supposed to record videos on smartphones?”. And the list goes on and on. Well, if it’s so hard for you to hold your phone in landscape mode – get a gimble! Buy a selfie stick! Problem solved! It also doesn’t help when I watch movies or TV series where people record vertically and the video still comes out in landscape mode. That’s not good at all… It’s a straight out lie when I see that in movies etc. I get that it might be meaningless to complain if the video is only meant to be shared locally on your phone, or at least mainly to be watched on your phone if the video is shared on other platforms, but I still see a huge problem with vertical videos. The only time I might accept it (but not really) is maybe if somebody records a close-up video of the Eiffel Tower or something, but then it’s probably possible to record in a different angle and still get the whole view. Buy a wide lense or something! Problem solved. There’s just so much you’re missing when watching a video if it is recorded vertically. Now, for photos I do not complain, because photos are… well, photos! You can and we have watched photos in “portrait” mode or whatever since forever. Portrait photos in vertical ways or whatever are still a problem sometimes, especially if used in blog posts. That’s because then the image is cropped, or just looks weird when a blog post is shared to Facebook, G+ or some other platform. At least for now, so I try to avoid using portrait photos in my blog posts. They’re fine to watch however on whatever platform there is, but videos recorded vertically really freaks me out, even if I do not say anything about it. I’ve simply just stopped bothering people about it, but we, the rebels have lost the battle. Hopefully we haven’t lost the war on vertical videos!

Personally, and for good reason – I do not use any platform that provide vertical videos. By that I mean I do not use that service on Facebook, called stories. I do not use the Instagram version. I have a Snapchat account, but I only got that because a friend of mine told me that it was possible to record landscape videos, but that turned out to be a lie or something. I do not blame my friend for that, I blame SnapChat! Now, Instagram has come out with IGTV, short for Instagram TV. It’s a platform made for vertical videos. To this I say both “Great” as well as “Oh noes!”. Its great in the way that now we have a video platform for all those who love vertical videos. Its great, because then we might see a whole lot less of that crap on YouTube or other video platforms. It is a bad thing because it means that vertical video recording is growing and won’t stop, and that is a thing I really dislike. I shall personally try and avoid using that service at all cost!

Now, if you’ve ever watched the linked video above from Glove and Boots, and you’ve seen the presentation from Instagram, there is a hilarious clip in there that is just too funny not to comment on. In the video from Glove and Boots, they have a character with vertical eyes. He says he loves vertical video, and why wouldn’t he? He’s got vertical eyes FFS! Instagram stole that clip, but the point made from Glove and Boots is like the total opposite of what Instagram is trying to achieve here. That’s how I see it, at least…

Vertical videos look horrible. Always! When they are shared on Facebook for example, they’re often pixelated and never in HD. You miss like 66% of all the action when you record or watch it, even if it’s just for a few seconds. That goes even if it’s your pet you’re trying to record. I wanna see it all! Not just the nose on your dog… I don’t care if the phone is easier to hold like that! When you record video, you do it in landscape mode. Please. Just please. FFS!

Even if you do not care, there might be others who feel awful and can’t enjoy the video fully if it’s been recorded in such an awful way. I don’t even understand how it’s even possible to record vertically. I never have! It should have been banned by the phone makers from the start! In the beginning, however Android phones within the camera app, told people to record in landscape mode, but that only lasted for like 6 months or something and nobody cared. Now I even think Google themselves promotes vertical videos whenever possible. I’ve seen special TV’s at train stations with vertical commercials on them, as the screen is also vertical. It is such a mess! But I guess I have to learn to live with this awfulness.

Maybe someday people will wake up and realise that VV is absolutely horrible and does not belong in any situation, but that’s just utopia or something… I know it will never happen. It is far more likely that we will go to the movies and watch vertical films instead within 10 years. With huge black bars on the side, or a 300 feet high ceiling where everybody gets a stiff neck at the end of the movie. Soon Netflix and other streaming platforms will make TV series in vertical video format. Soon, it might be impossible to even record or do anything in landscape and there we will be. Watching, missing 66% of everything, just because that’s life or some shit like that.

I am not looking forward to that. Are you?

Guess what?! It did end with an iPhone!!!

Yes, what you’ve read in the title is true. I am now an iPhone user and it happened in a way I never thought was possible. My boyfriend bought me one! He’s said that I won’t be getting another phone from him, but since I managed to pass my math class, I got one as a gift last Thursday and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could, but like I wrote in my last post about payment plans, you know where I stand. I got an iPhone SE, and because that’s an iPhone – I am thrilled! I love it, and I’ve gotten used to the tiny size of it.

How it happened…

Last Thursday, the day after I found out that I passed math, I spent the afternoon with a friend of mine who was gonna babysit our cat over the weekend. We went to the mall that’s nearby, bought a smoothie and I spent most likely a half an hour nagging about how iOS would be so much better than Android for so many reasons and why I wanna switch over to it. My BF was on his way home and I had a secret plan of going into the Apple store and play around with all the stuff in there, but I still felt a bit ashamed of my Apple obsession, but in the end I never went in to the store. A few minutes later me and my friend met up with my BF. He said he could be a bit late and when we met him he said that he’d been to a store to look for a thing. My first thought was – “Did he just buy me an iPhone?! Nah…” I still hoped it was true, but I figured that it was probably something else he bought. If I was wrong, I did not want to feel disappointed. My memory sucks these days so I could very easily have been wrong. When we got home a bit later, the first thing that happened after we went into the kitchen was that he handed me the box that contained an iPhone SE. I was so happy I cried and jumped around like crazy!!!

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The Space Gray iPhone SE is now mine! I was so happy that he got me the right colour as well! I do not like the white front on iPhones that much…

The photo above is from when I got it out of the box. You cannot believe the happiness I felt!!! It was so tiny and it weighed nothing compared to my Lenovo P2, but I spent the whole evening, basically setting the phone up. It went great, apart from me not getting the chat history from WhatsApp in it. Apparently it can’t be done without some no-name software that I do not want to download, so I guess I just have to start from scratch with my conversations with the BF on that platform, but that’s fine.

So far the phone works great, but I’ve had some hiccups with it. Most of the disturbances lies within the battery life. That sucks! But it’s probably because I’m used to not having to worry about it. Also I sort of can’t stop using it which drains the battery faster as well. The stand-by time is however great. If I don’t use it, basically no battery is used (unless I listen to podcasts for some reason?!), but if I start to do anything it drops really fast. I’ve had to charge it twice, pretty much daily except for Saturday, because then we were at a wedding all day and I didn’t wanna be rude and stare at my phone all day then. The other hiccups I’ve noticed is that it’s sometimes hard to press buttons to go back, but I’ve guess I figured out that I’m pressing wrong. I’m used to pressing exactly on the “X” or whatever button there is, but apparently you’re supposed to press a little bit on the right or the left of it if you want to go back or exit from where you are. Also I’ve notices that some apps tend, not to crash, but I have to press some apps multiple times in order to get in to the app. This mostly happens with communication apps, like FB messenger and WhatsApp if I open them from the lock screen or right after unlocking the phone. It’s a bit strange, but it hasn’t happened for a few days so that could’ve been temporary.

I’ve also gotten used to the size of it now. I tried using my BF’s phone the other day because I wanted to look for something on Android, and his phone felt huge. A few minutes later I used the iPad and that felt enormous! The iPad still feels enormous! Having a tiny phone has its advantages, though, but if I could I’d really go back to having a bigger one. Maybe not iPhone 8 plus size, but at least a bit bigger then the SE. If not for the bigger screen, then at least for the battery life. I am however sick and tired of constantly getting new phones, so I’m hoping and planning that the SE will last me at least two years or so and then I hope I’m able to buy a bigger iPhone – if I’m still that pleased with the experience. By then Apple would most likely have released several improved versions of the iPhone X and hopefully the price will be better in the future for all iPhones. And it actually fits in my pocket!

So far, over all I’m in love with it. The seamlessness between the iPad and other Macs is amazing! We were traveling over the weekend and with a click I could share the wi-fi with the iPad from my iPhone. Absolutely amazing! Among a bazillion other cool stuff I’ve noticed. Apps in general look gorgeous on the iPhone!

The typing experience has also been pretty much amazing. iOS in itself does a better job with typing then Google’s Gboard. The only thing that feels weird while typing is that it’s a whole lot different from the iPad. The iPad has so called “key flicks” or something like that, which makes typing letters, numbers and other special characters a whole lot faster. The iPhone does not have that and even the “.” character is nowhere to be found, normally when chatting with a friend. I guess that’s also something to get used to and I have and overall it’s working beautifully to type on such a tiny screen!

Last Friday, after arriving in Stockholm I went right into a store and bought a case for it. Of course I could find a super pink one in silicone for cheap, and so I bought it. I’ve also today ordered a custom printed case with one of the biggest cuddle bugs ever on it, Gandalf – the Great Dane with a glass screen protector. I’m looking forward to having that case. The pink silicone one works ok. It does not sit that tight as I want it to, but it looks gorgeous and feels great in the hand. I personally prefer silicone cases to my phones, and I hope that the custom case I’ve ordered is in better quality then the pink one. I’ll of course save the pink case and switch between them whenever I feel like it and it feels great to have a phone that’s easy to accessorise.

I’ve switched around as well with the app placements and now I believe I’m sort of finished with that. All my apps are in different folders on the first home screen and categorised and that’s great! I could sure use some widgets, but I guess you can’t have everything…

It basically all feels like a dream, and now I finally feel like I can relax a bit. My obsession with Apple will not cease to exist anytime soon, but what I mean is that it’s now “fine” or whatever to talk Apple products, watch Youtube videos and listen to podcasts etc about Apple without feeling that much shame. It has helped my mind to focus on this anyways and it’s been a silent motivator to help passing with math class and looking forward to the future. Also my mom got an older Macbook Pro as a birthday gift the other week and we helped her out with setting everything up and that felt great. I was able to freely talk about Apple products and even my parents several times mentioned why they are so happy with Apple. The reason for it is because it is simple, reliable and works seamlessly between devices. Before, my mom had a really bad Windows laptop and she’s gone nuts with using that computer. It’s basically due to the laptop not having enough RAM or an SSD, but even with macOS, everything will be a lot easier for her and the family. And that’s something I’m looking forward to as well, because if I can decide as of now, I’ll officially never go back to using Android and Windows full-time ever again. Of course I’ll keep my old desktop PC, because who knows how long the Mac mini will hold, but I’m hoping it will last until I myself have the money to buy an iMac or something in about 3-4 years depending on what will happen the upcoming years for me.

I am now “fully emerged” into the Apple ecosystem except for the Apple Watch, AirPods and an Apple TV, but who’s counting?! However, I don’t think it would be that hard to leave it as of now. As long as I keep being an iPhone user, everything should be fine. The only thing I’d miss as of now is iMessage and the seamless experience that’s come with that since getting an iPhone. It’s absolutely amazing to answer phone calls and SMS on my computer, just because I have an iPhone! On the other hand, I still use Google drive for documents and I can reach those wherever I am anyways and iTunes is available for Windows as well. Also the seamless experience I’ve noticed using photos is also pretty great. It makes me somewhat interested to stop using Google photos and start using iCloud instead, but if I do that I’d have to pay for it. However, in the future when I might afford it and I know I’m staying with Apple I might switch, but for now I’m pleased with having Google Photos, since it’s a free service and works fairly well. The only downside to it is that it takes ages for it to sync across all my devices. iCloud photos syncs seamlessly without me barely noticing. Also,  the iCloud photo sharing and photo stream thing works anyways, without me officially storing all the photos in iCloud so that’s a great workaround as of now as well.

Well, I’m happy as hell. How about you? What were your thoughts if you’ve ever switched from Android to iOS? Leave a comment below and let me know!

I’ve temporarily switched to a Mac computer…😮

 

Närbild Mac mini tangentbord

And I feel so stupid for not doing that sooner! You know how much I’ve been talking about Apple on this blog. It’s been going on for ages, or at least for more than 6 months. I thought I’d get tired of the idea regarding Apple and iOS, but no. It stopped for a while, but with my Lenovo P2 being the buggy android that it is and with Google I/O 2018 and the sky rocketing privacy issues that emerged this spring, the thoughts and feelings about switching to something “better” has been there lurking pretty much daily for way to long now. And believe it or not, but the solution was actually right under my nose the whole time. Now I shall explain why.

I’ve mentioned before that we’ve had an Mac mini and an iPad in our household for several years. The Mini has been used as a media player of sorts and that worked great! Now we use Android TV that crashes all the time. Ain’t that fun?! Ok, the Mini as a media player also crashed sometimes, but that happened very rarely. The Android Shield TV crashes multiple times per week.

The iPad was my iOS exploration tool during the fall of 2017, but I’ve since then de-activated it and re-activated it. All during the time while I’ve been curious about iOS, having an iPhone instead of an Android and using MacOS instead of Windows etc. During that time I had absolutely no clue that I actually could use our Mini to still my curiosity. However, I did attempt to use it a while back, but since I could not create an account for myself then or update to High Sierra, I put it back and didn’t think of using it again until now. This time I succeeded!

Luckily, or whatever one might say, I actually thought of the idea for about a week ago and this is due to two main reasons. One being that my closest friend was in need of a PC, since her has stopped working and the other was that my PC also has been acting weird from time to time for the past year or so. At first my plan was to loan my friend the Mac mini, but then I realised I could actually explore macOS without spending one penny! And she probably wouldn’t want it, since she needs a computer for gaming. I don’t think the Mini is great for heavy gaming… I thought the problem with my computer was fixed, but it wasn’t and so I got sick and tired of the whole shebang and then… Then I thought that I actually could use the Mini, since we’re not using it for anything at the moment. That’s like wholly crap amazingness or something in my book these days, since I can’t stop thinking about Apple products no matter how hard I try. It’s like my mind is forced to think about them, and I’ve totally succumbed to the idea of stable technology products. And that’s because I’m so sick of purchased products of technology not working the way they should. Non-responsive, buggy and laggy android phones, Googles AI crap etc… The list is getting longer as we speak!

Some time during last week when the BF was at work I started my devious plan. I switched all the necessary cables to the mini, booted it up, created an account for myself, upgraded it to High Sierra, downloaded iMovie and other useful programs and off I went. A week later, after I’ve learned the basic stuff I am so in love with this! Sure, I’ve had some hiccups, but not like I’ve had with my Windows computer so many times. Regarding iMovie, I really like that as well. The main reason is because it renders super quickly, even with added effects and music. I use Sony Vegas for editing on my PC, and even though I really like SV for editing videos, it has always, no  matter what setting, rendered really slowly. To explain, let’s say that it at least takes 3-4 times longer to render with SV in comparison to iMovie. Both software programs can do basically the same thing, and basically everything that I personally need for my videos. iMovie renders a one minute video with added effects in like a minute. Sony Vegas does this in at least 3 minutes, perhaps even longer sometimes. The quality is also about the same in both programs. And this whilst my PC is a lot more “robust” and “faster” or whatever in comparison with the Mac Mini. It’s the 2012 model, btw. My PC is from 2011 or so, and I’ve god an SSD in both. The Mini has 16 GB of RAM. I don’t know how much RAM my PC has, but it should be a lot more than the Mini. Either way, the Mini runs faster, is quieter and does so far everything I want it to and need it to, so why haven’t I done this sooner? Not to mention it is so tiny!

Well, the reason for that is that I’m stupid and slow sometimes. My brain has a hard time thinking and noticing stuff sometimes. I am also very good at shutting stuff out when I want to, but I have a really hard time as well to focus on what I want when I need to. When I am focused on something that motivates me, however, then it’s nearly impossible to break that focus as well. That’s why my brain likes to focus on Apple products, when I really like need to read a book or study etc. I don’t know why, but it’s a daily struggle. Also, before you start accusing me of having a disorder or something, I do have on paper at least a diagnosis on Asperger’s Syndrome, a kind of autism that I hate to talk about. However, I’ve also during these past few months since this whole Apple craze began, started to analyse a lot more on why I am struggling with this.

So far I’ve come to only one conclusion.

I like to do stuff I enjoy. It’s really that simple. I like to learn new things. I need stability in my life, and for the past year or so I haven’t had that in some aspects. I got terminated (not fired!) from my job, which I’ve suspected and waited for, for over a year, the Blackberry was a disappointment and the only positive thing about my phone is the battery life. Not to mention that I’ve moved two times in less than a year and I haven’t lost weight by going vegetarian. It’s been a bit hard, and in search for stability and somewhat “happiness” outside the fantastic life with my BF, my brain landed with Apple.

Also I do not like to play games, except a few match-3 games on my phone, any longer. It’s not just that fun. It’s hard on my fingers, due to fibromyalgia, and I have a hard time remembering all the buttons for all the different games I used to play. Also I dislike reading books and have always preferred watching movies or TV series instead. I can never really see myself be that kind of person that enjoys reading more than watching, but I’d seriously love it if I could become a book loving person. If I read something, I like reading articles, comments etc, because I love to hear other people’s perspective on things. That’s really inspiring! It’s a lot more inspiring than reading a book at least. I’ve basically never found reading to be that great. It always annoys me that I can’t see the movie, or that the movie based on the book did not make it like the book. Also to add a disclaimer here, I’ve basically only read 2,5 book series in my life. Narnia, Harry Potter and 3,5 books or so of Wheel of Time. The only “magic” time I’ve ever had reading a book was when I read the Magicians Nephew on audiobook, but still I wanted to watch the movie! It still hasn’t been made… 😦

Ok, so I guess it’s time for a conclusion. If I should be really honest, I’d like to stick with the Mac mini for a foreseeable future. Maybe even forever. I’m sort of hooked! I love it, because it does what I want it to, quietly, and as fast (or faster) than my PC. The only thing I miss are better speakers. I have a speaker system from like 2006 or something. I’ve sort of gotten them as a gift from my BF, since he doesn’t need them. I love them and do not see a reason to buy a new pair of speakers, but the only problem is that they do not work with the Mac mini or my screen. It was an easy fix, however. I just needed a better AUX cable which I had lying around the apartment. I also have a subwoofer that goes with my speakers, and that’s why I love it so much. I love that bass!

When I use a PC, I mainly use it for browsing the web, chatting with people and sometime (very rarely these days) to render and edit videos. For work I used the web a lot, except for when I’ve had to use Microsoft Office or other products like it, or subtitle editing software from when I used to manage that. A lot of what I used for work happened online so… With the Mac mini working so far perfectly I guess it will suite my needs very well and I see no reason what so ever to go back to my Windows PC. On the other hand it makes me want an iMac even more, and also an iPhone. And if by a miracle, I hope I’m like “forced” to buy an Macbook for school if I  manage to get in that is. It seems very unlikely that I will this fall, because I got a really low S.A.T (högskoleprov) score and it will probably be a miracle if I pass my current math (algebra etc) class I’m taking in order to get in.

I’ve played around a bit more with the iPad since I booted up the mini, and even though it hasn’t been a perfect ride getting new ringtones on the iPad, it’s something new I’ve learned. When I got the hang of it and figured out how to do it, it actually works fine. I created the funniest ringtone in GarageBand that I hope I’ll get to use soon when I FaceTime with friends and/or family. That’d be fun! If I get an iPhone soon (hopefully, there’s still the money issue) I’m really looking forward being “drenched” into the Apple ecosystem. With the tiny view I’ve gotten so far with the whole ecosystem thing, I really get why people are hooked on Apple products, even though they’re more expensive than Windows or Android products.

Of course, I also have to write a disclaimer of some sorts. The reason for this is because I know how my mind works and I can easily be swayed in another direction if I just know “enough” to do so. That does not mean I’m just a sheep that follows new people around all the time, I do question stuff – a lot, but I’m also open into trying new things, especially when I have a reason to do so. To sum it up, it basically means that my current hookup with Apple could be just temporary. Just because the Mini works pretty much perfectly as of now, doesn’t mean it will in another year or so, If I still use it by then that is. However, with what I’ve learned about Apple is that their stuff works. For years. If not, just go to an Apple store and they’ll fix it. Unfortunately the Mini won’t be able to be replaced if something would happen to it, but in my very personal mind, I’d probably do my very best to save up my money and replace the Mini and my PC with an iMac within the coming years instead. Why? Because I could use Windows AND macOS on an iMac. I don’t need my clunky desktop PC, really because I’ve stopped playing games. If I decide to buy an iMac in the future (when I can afford it, that is), that computer will most likely be powerful enough anyways for what I have to do. I don’t really see myself as a game developer in the future, and if I’d become one, I’d most likely develop games that are easier on the hard drive etc. Then I wouldn’t need a “fast” Windows PC, and an “underpowered & expensive” iMac would do just fine. And then I could use Windows for my usual stuff whenever I feel like it without having two separate desktop computers.

I’m also using the tiny magic keyboard as well to write this and I love the fact that it’s powered with bluetooth. My desk is normally really cluttered with cables and cords, and now I can really see myself using a wireless mouse and keyboard, with an iMac in the future and loving it. I like space and in some ways, minimalism is also really inspiring and intriguing for me these days. I am not a minimalist per say, but a lot of the philosophy behind it is something me and the BF practise daily without thinking about it. A clean, non-cluttered home and desk is really something I’d like to have. Even though I’ve really enjoyed having two screens, I find that using macOS does not require two screens in the same way I prefer it when I’m using Windows. I don’t really know why, though. I just don’t feel like two screens are that necessary as of now, but if I could have two screens now, I’d be a lot happier. But this works just fine and I love it!

All and all, I love this. And it has made me so much happier as well. Who could’ve thought?

The obsession with privacy is becoming a bit too much…

Ok, you’re probably starting to think that the only topics I talk about are veganism and Apple. Or something like that. Well, that might very well be true, but what am I supposed to do with such a messed up brain that I have? I have to write a bit more about this privacy shit, but hopefully after this, everything will cool down and I’ll try and continue living my life like nothing has happened. Or maybe it will end with an iPhone, who the hell knows?! I certainly do not.

access black and white blur cage
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

During these past months or so, all back to when the obsession with iOS, Apple, OnePlus and the creeping privacy issues started to emerge, everything (as always) has escalated, and especially with the latest Google I/O. I wrote about that in my last post. Since that post I’ve been doing my best to “de-googlify” my life to no avail. I’ve tried looking for a new e-mail service and created a few accounts with outlook.com, protonmail and I’ve started to use my poorly created iCloud mail as well that I made at the ending phase of my Apple obsession I had in the fall of 2017. With poorly I’m referring to me creating the wrong email address. If I’d created a better one I might have only used that one for now, even though I’m not a complete Apple user yet. If I’d been an Apple user, I could easily transfer everything to my iCloud mail, but since I’m not I won’t do that. At least not today.

I even created a g suite account, but that only lasted less than 24 hours and it was a huge mistake. It might have been worth it if I could just transfer everything from my personal Google account, but no. It is not that easy. Unfortunately. The reason why I tried out the G suite is because I read that Google does not need to “spy” on those users, since they pay for the service and do not get it for free. I found that very compelling since i really do like using Google services. But it did not work, so now I’m stuck right back at the beginning.

My feelings regarding Microsoft are also very mixed. It might be a better service overall regarding email, but I do not know. Outlook as an email service feels better, but it’s a pure roller coaster where I love it one minute and dislike it like hell the next. That’s because I am not sure if they read my emails or not and want to sell me stuff because of what I write. Microsoft themselves say they do not do that, but I am not sure if I trust that. Google does this, but personally and usually I rarely email people about stuff I talk or search with my Google account, so in that regard I also do not know if I should care so much about this either. I basically have used my Gmail account for work for the past 3½ years, and I’ve only written a fraction of those thousands of emails to friends, government or family so why is this privacy thing such a huge deal now?

Before I got my job, I used my Gmail mainly to get accounts somewhere else and notifications from all of the other social media accounts and other types of accounts I’ve created during the years. I rarely (or perhaps never) email people and that’s because of message clients, social media and phone calls. The biggest deal I have with Gmail is the self-completing email feature that they mentioned at the latest I/O and all the AI and machine learning crap Google wants to implement all over their services. Everything else is no biggie, I guess, since it hasn’t been before. My Google account in itself is primarily used for Google+, YouTube and Google Drive outside of Gmail. Not necessarily in that order, though…

Basically I’d like a service that is not that personalized if all I see are stupid ads and an OS that follows my every move, predicts everything etc. If I have to “do everything myself”, than I’d guess I’d be happy with that because it will only take me like 3 seconds longer to find the app I’d like to use on my phone next and I can completely decide myself on who to call etc. I basically do that already and it works fine. What I dislike is what I’ve mentioned before, being haunted from searches and watch history and seeing uninteresting shit I can’t/won’t buy or do. It’s that simple, or something. I’d also feel freaked out if every time I take a walk by myself I get suggestions (or notifications in the future, who knows if that will even be a thing?!) to call my family, because that is when I mainly do call them. I do that because it’s boring to just walk by yourself. I want company while I’m walking outside. I also want to decide myself who and when to call somebody, ok?!

Regarding the OnePlus 6…😥

I won’t be buying it after all. This I say after I’ve watched the launch and seen the amazing specs and price. I say this for two reasons. Number one is that I probably won’t afford it and it’s useless as of now to spend money on a phone I don’t really need. The other reason is because it will have Android P. Starting with the beta and then the full version when it’s released. I really do not want Android P. Actually I do not want Android any more, but I’m stuck with it because I can’t afford to do anything about it. On the plus side, my old and current phone does make me feel a little bit safer regarding these terrible AI and machine learning changes that are becoming a bigger part of Android with every new version.

With an older phone I do not and will not have all these new creepy features that new phones will have, but Android in general right now makes me feel sick. Still, that doesn’t make my Android experience reliable or exciting. Or anything. I just have a smartphone that works somewhat as it is needed to. I mean, it is a laggy phone, the camera is crap (yeah, I admit to that now) and some other shit I can’t remember now. The only thing I like is the battery life. That alone makes my phone worth having as of now.

But I also feel like if my next phone will have a smaller/shorter battery life, I’d learn to live and deal with that as well, so that doesn’t matter in itself. I’d rather have a phone that is fast, does not lag, has all the apps I need, with better reception for phone calls and maybe even type-c and/or wireless charging. And of course one hell of a camera so I can start taking photos with pride again. I could probably get all that with the OnePlus 6, but then I’d only get more and more AI crap and that I do not want. That is not OnePlus fault, I blame Google for that. They are the ones who pushes the AI crap even further than they need to. And that makes me so sad…

To simply put it short. I feel trapped. No other email service can currently match Gmail. If they can, it means you have to pay for them. That in itself I don’t really mind. However, I might get terminated from my job any day now because lack of things to do. If that happens I’d probably get a lot poorer and then it would be stupid to start paying for stuff if I can’t afford. Even if I’ll get accepted to a college in the fall, I’ll get less money than I have today, but at least then I’d be able to use all the student discounts. If that happen it means that like $10 will be a lot of money for me yet again. That’s fine however while I’m a student, but if I’m unemployed for a longer period of time it will be a bit worse. At least if I get less money than I have today. It’s a good thing I have a BF with a high paying job! 😉 The money issues are really just in my head for now. And I feel like Scrooge McDuck regarding my money no matter what!

The last talk about iPhone. For a while at least…

After Google I/O, me and the BF are totally creeped out regarding Google and we want to leave it or something like that. I wrote in my last post that my BF does not want to “sponsor” any other phone maker out there. But he’s actually said that he’d have to switch to iPhone if worse comes to worse. This is because there is no other OS out there that is better than all of them. It will hurt both the wallet and the mind, since he really dislikes Apple as a company and their “narrow minded” software, but it’s worth it to be sure that our privacy remains safe. I do not know when or even if this will happen.

Since Google I/O, his Blackberry has started to work a lot weirder than before and because of that I do not know what he’d wanna do about it. He does however believe that it’s not the Blackberry’s fault – it’s android itself with all the AI crap that Google recently has turned on for all Android users. We both feel that we do not want to spend money on new phones when the ones we have sort of work already. Even though they stutter and lag and act crazy as fudge sometimes because of some software issue. I myself have not noticed anything special since Google I/O with my phone, but that could be because I do not use my phone like my BF does. Also since I’ve turned off as many things as possible within my Google account, that may also be an explanation as to why I have not noticed anything special yet. The only strange thing I’ve seen is that all of a sudden the Google Assistant was in the app drawer, which it has not been before. At least not right where it was, but it disappeared as soon as it got there basically and I have not seen it since.

Also, I have to mention the obvious here. If I can’t afford a OnePlus 6, why will I afford a “doubled priced” iPhone, if I’d ever decide to get one? Well, that’s because if I get an iPhone I know it will most likely be worth the money. If I buy one, it will be a phone that has to last me at least 2 years, preferably even longer than that. From what I’ve come to learn, an iOS device easily lasts that long. A OP6 will probably be a better buy in general, but because of the huge privacy issues with Google that are only getting worse – I do not want to spend my money on that. I also do not really feel like another OS is of interest either. There’s Lineage OS, that sucks and barely works from what I’ve heard and there’s also Eelo or something like that as well. Both are of no interest to me. Both are also in a sort of startup mode.  Then I’d rather be stuck and trapped within Android to be honest, or spend my money on something that will last and keep me safe for years while I enjoy being online as usual. Maybe other OS’s will be of interest in like 5 years or so, when Google already will control the world and know everything about everybody? Not to mention how they’ll predict everybody’s daily actions and activities…

The conclusion is that whatever my BF decides to go, so will I. If he buys an iPhone, I’ll do it too and not before then. If he stays with Android – so will I. If he stays with Gmail and Google itself – so will I etc. I’ll do this because I feel safest that way. My BF is usually right about things and since I don’t want to think about this any more than I should, I will go back, or at least do everything I can to not think about this and when he makes up his mind about what he wants to do, I’ll stand right there with him. Why?

Because it’s most likely the best solution for me right now. That’s why.

Oh, god this was a long post…😅